Close to Home by John McPherson for March 23, 2021

Chicken.

Hi Bleeb! Hi everyone.

It looks like the young human is having an awkward moment with Papa. One of those times that makes one squirm.

Bleeb is going in that tree hole and look for cookies

I’m petty sure PornHub has already educated the 11-year-old about the bird, the bees, the bunnies, and the cheerleaders. (He probably hacked into Dad’s account too.)

The birds and the Bleebs.

There’s an app for that? There is unfortunately half the internet devoted to that. Dad better learn to help him see the reality in relationships…

“Is that how you learned about it, dad?”

“Not on your life. I learned about it the old-fashioned way: Wrong and in the gutter.”

Dad, if you check his browser history you will find out he already knows more about the birds and bees than you do.

“OK, Pop. Whaddya wanna know?”

Another excuse not to communicate with your kid! Boo Hiss!

Okay. I’ll admit. I’d do that. I mean really, my Dad used a Penthouse.

Ooooh you SURE you wanna go the app route on that topic, sir?

At least the father tried something!

Parents have it made these days.

“It’s okay Dad, I already Googled it! But if there’s anything you’d like to know, just ask me!”

Be VERY specific

So, none of you thinks maybe Dad wants him to be more of a nature lover??

O come on. Be a man. Download that app for him….

The father became suspicious when he had to take Johnny’s laptop in for a virus for the eighth time.

“The duke was having problems with a message at the local Bird and Bee.” —J. Lennon

Maybe Bleeb could teach him a few things.

Does the new version of the app include Bleebs?

Is the the National Geographic app?

I’d rather learn it the old fashion way, in the school yard.

Did he mean birds and the Bleebs?

Benny Hill had a poem about the birds and bees:

I’d reached the age of fourteen and I hadn’t started courting,

And my mum was getting worried about me.

She said, "Dad, it’s time you told him

all about the birds and bees,"

He said, “The birds and bees,” and sat me on his knee.

He said, "Now, remember Uncle Joe and that picnic a while ago,

How he went off into the woods with Auntie Pat?

And how I chased O’Reily’s daughter

and what happened when I caught her?"

I said, “Yeah,” he said, “Well birds and bees does that.”

scpandich I remember that one clearly. Well done! :>)

I already saw all that stuff – and I used your credit card, too.

He could teach YOU by now!