The Duplex by Glenn McCoy for May 22, 2021

Whenever my doctor says that to me, I always answer — I’ve been dead for a week, how’s your day been going??

/CHORTLE/

You sure it’s not all the beer you’ve been drinking

“How are WE feeling today?”

Answer “I dunno Doc, I’m feeling ok but you look like Sh*t”

Next thing you know they will feed them to Eno one half at a time!!!

Maybe Eno should arrange a Kilimanjaro Expedition,,,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTy1j7z-K4

Well, oddly enough, I’m better than I was last week when I made the first available appointment. I was in rough shape then and really needed help, but I got well enough to come in here and see you. As a matter of fact I feel fine now. Thanks for nothing. Don’t forget to triple bill me. I have Blue Cross and Blue Sheild and Blue bals.

I think I have early-onset Rigormortis.

A tip from my pharmacist showed me that pills break right in half if you try to “bend” them with your fingers.

“And cut them lengthwise, not widthwise…”

(?¿?)

That’s what the grooves across some pills are for. Place a sharp knife in, and push down. Some pills even have crosses, for a quarter dose. Of course, older people may have to have help doing it.

“The pills Mother gave me did nothing at all, Dr.Alice I need to get down that rabbit hole.”

Crazy..no one could see this coming.

That’s probably the logical course of action.

And I thought he was going to charge him double for seeing 2 Doctors.

This is hilarious because it’s so totally unrealistic. A doctor actually acknowledging that something he prescribed has side effects, much less doing something (however pointless) about it?

Or maybe an eye patch?

Geez. I got rear-ended by a teenage girl on her cellphone back in 2015. I went to the doctor complaining of neck pains and they did an xray and MRI. Found no damage. Doctor prescribed me THREE pain killers one of which is illegal in the UK because, if you take it for more than three days, you will become an ax murderer! They found no cause for my supposed pain but gave me three prescriptions! Three! I shredded them all and ate ibuprofen for three days and the pain went away. Geez! Quit over-prescribing meds! Please!