Close to Home by John McPherson for June 09, 2021

And if you still have a tongue, it will have fur on it for a week.

More human craziness for Bleeb to witness ……..sigh

And my fist will knock all your teeth out in 5 seconds…….

With a wire brush, no less!!

“First, we merely have to remove your teeth from your mouth. Then we just scrub them with “the enamelator” and put them back in."

As usual, the tool’s bigger than your mouth so they’ll have to jam it in. ;/

Sounds good. Where do I sign up?

I got one of them to clean my grill. This is gonna hurt.

Whaat about the gag factor?

Ouch!

I’m all for efficiency but c’mon, man!

You may have to use Sensodyne toothpaste for a few months after this procedure.

Our dentist has cancelled that type of process, nothing can spray or throw biological “Yuck” due to covid.

Brought to you by the same people that recommend using a nail file to level their teeth.

Looks more like a scratch-n-dent procedure, instead of a Buff-n-shine

Open yer yap! You know the drill!

“Now…this…won’t…hurt…a…bit!

There! All done! Now rinse and spit! All good and shiny!

Yeesh! What’s this on my drill? Did you, by any chance, still have your tonsils?”

Note: McPherson has been surfing Amazon. Those Cordless Drill Cleaning Brushes go for about $6.95…. シ

I was going to say this was an odd choice of place for Bleeb to visit, but then I thought, “If he can visit Hell a dentist’s office isn’t that weird.”

You’ll really appreciate how I’m going to look after that overbite.

Or possibly her hair entanglements

Go for it…..

Quit being a baby, and open your mouth.

time IS money after all!

That’s what it often feels like NOW…

And her dentist is Orin Scrivello, D.D.S who is in the witness protection program.

As a bonus, I’ll clean out you nose after I’m done.

Hi Little Alien Dude! Hi Everyone! Yes, Bleeb. This is something they call a “procedure.” That’s when they don’t want to explain exactly what is happening next!!!!!!!!! :)

The basic idea is sound, but the collateral damage to the tongue cheeks and gums would seem to make this a rather questionable procedure.

Good thing proctologists don’ have one of those gizmos.

The Freddy Krueger look is the newest in thing.

John’s people sure like to sweat.

Hmm, you could put one of those heads on your immersion blender!

But you will still have to wait 30 minutes after you appointment time to get in the chair!