That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for June 11, 2021

“I can pre-date the marriage certificate by a month or two, but THREE YEARS is really pushing it!”

“So you’ve gifted your child $1,000,000 and your dog $1,000,000 and you’ve lost $1,000,000 in your ‘businesses’, and you say your house has lost $1,000,000 in value. I would say your taxes come to $0.”

… D, E, R, S. OK, so for a location you said “Flanders.”Now I just need a plural noun, a proper name, and another adjective. You’ll see, when I read the whole thing back it will be HILARIOUS,

“I’m sorry Madam, but Phoebe’s childhood crush on Opie Taylor in old television reruns isn’t strong enough justification to put her in a convent at her age. Bring her back when she starts talking about piercings, tattoos, and leather pants.”

As Mary of Burgundy sat for her portrait, her dyslexic daughter Margaret contemplated the nature of doG.

Yes, I know that the guidelines are vague, / but we must keep avoiding the plague. / And the Court has just ruled / that your child be home-schooled. / Disagree? Take it up with The Hague.

The wait is 45 minutes for a booth, less for a table…will you need a high chair?

Our obedience school will take both your dog and child. I assume you have papers for the child.

“Seinfeld, party of four.”

“They just left.”

‘Madam…..I’m sure you are aware that nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Their chief weapon is surprise… surprise and fear… fear and surprise…that is, their two weapons are fear and surprise… and ruthless efficiency…make that their three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency… and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…..and if you try breast feeding that child in here I can assure you Cardinal Ximinez will burst in here and give his best Michael Palin impersonation you’ve ever seen!

In Flanders at this time of year/ the aristocrats tremble with fear/ it isn’t the plague/ or the pox, or the ague/ it’s tuition/ grown dreadfully dear/// and though in a castle they dwell/ and are doing remarkably well/ they must wonder – how come/ that school charges a sum/ that’s the price of a new mangonel ?/// And lest you think “moderns” rejoice/ for they won’t be facing your choice/ guess, Milady, again/they too will cringe when/ it’s preschool – or the aging Rolls Royce…

I agreed to a portrait of you, Marge; it will be extra to add the kid to the sitting.

America Got Talent rejects another ventriloquist act.

MaItre D: Madam, will you please pick up after your dog?

Madam: I can’t. Those flimsy plastic grocery bags haven’t been invented yet.

Kid: BAD DOG, SPARKY!

I am sorry, your child is too young to be tutored…but your dog should be nutered!

and so it began…..

Papa is a mere Baronet/ but Mama is placing a bet/ that ahead she will get/ and the people she’s met/ will make her a Viscountess yet…

Hugo van der Goes Painting the Portrait of Mary of Burgundy: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Guillaume_Koller_-_Hugo_van_der_Goes_Painting_the_Portrait_of_Mary_of_Burgundy.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size circa 1872 painting (Mary is seated on her stepmother’s lap).

https://www.biographien.ac.at/oebl/oebl_K/Koller_Wilhelm_1829_1884.xml 

https://www.theknohlcollection.com/portfolio/detail/wilhelm-koller-austrian-1829-1884/ 

both have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL, which indirectly points to his German Wikipedia page 

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilhelm_Koller 

(again, Google Chrome can automatically translate most webpages as necessary). First work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2725 (June 10, 2021) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

“Does she have any team sports on her resumé? It would really help with the admissions process. Also a contribution to my personal charity.”

Whippet! Whippet good!!

His hard-won repute he feared tainting / by madness, concealed by the feinting / of joy, “I’m not blue!” / And that is why Hu- / go van der Goes goes into painting.

I’m sorry, but we are still requiring masks for COVID 81.

Reservations for 3 for Mxyzptlk? I’m sorry … can you spell that again?