Monty by Jim Meddick for July 26, 2021

You’re gonna need a bigger fence.

I know it’s just a three foot above ground pool, but I’ve seen people drown in an inch of bath water. Would have called for help but you know the peeping tom crime statistics.

It’s a great way to get your neighbor to seek bids on a spite fence or a privacy hedge.

I my area can’t be over seven feet, and trees take a long time to grow.

Get three more and an extra tall cocktail table and you’ll start a new trend in lawn furniture.

Throw in loud noise and a lot of smoke and you’ve got my neighbors.

That lifeguard chair was cheap because the pool was extra.

“King of Queens” had a good episode like this, with Bryan Cranston as the neighbor.

Hilarious! Gold star for the day.

I did get lifeguard certification. The best part of the gig was when they needed one of us to simulate a drowning person so the other students could practice, and I got to do it. Yeah, the screaming and flailing was fun, but the best part was grabbing and clinging to my would-be rescuers (which is what drowning people actually do to anything that looks like it floats) so they could practice their evasive maneuvers. One little gal felt bad that she hadn’t been able to get a grip on me and haul me out, but I pointed out to her that, by continually backing away toward the shallow end of the pool, with me lunging at her every bit of the way, we’d reached the point where I could just stand up and walk out on my own. Mission accomplished! Congratulations, missy!

What’s next? A trampoline? :)

Well, so much for that plan.

See how that worked for you.

and watch the neighbors skinny dip……

Court order for the Peeping Tom time, neighbors….