Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 30, 2021

Yesterday I only offended one ethnicity. Here’s one with the potential to offend three:

A Frenchman, a Greek, and a Jew are out driving, when they’re in a horrific accident and they all die. They’re met at The Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who tells them, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but Heaven is temporarily full, so you have a choice. You can either go to Purgatory, which is just like Hell, until we have an opening. OR you can go back to Earth and wait. However, that choice has some stipulations: Frenchman, if you even think about gourmet food, you’re gone. Greek, one thought about sex, and YOU’RE gone. And Jew, well, you can probably guess – one thought about money and you’re outta there.”

Well, the men agree to the requirements, and soon find themselves back on Earth, walking along a road. Before long they come to a bakery. The Frenchman looks inside and sees a fresh-baked baguette. He inhales deeply, drinking in the aroma…and then, POOF! The Frenchman is gone.

“Boy, Pete wasn’t kidding,” the two remaining men say to each other. “We’d better watch out!”

A little further down the road, though, the Jew spies a quarter on the ground. He tries to look away, but he just can’t help himself, so he bends over to pick up the coin…and then POOF! The Greek is gone.

Hames Jobson One time I produced 501,032 lumens with my radiance.

Kori Leeton One time I surfed the wake of a boat for 9 hours.

Ramantha Samsdell One time my mouth gape was 2.56 inches.

The average American throws about 82 pounds of textile waste per year.

May the Lord be with you.

How many batteries does/did Hobson’s flashlight take?

How many Led’s were used to give that many lumens.

In the 50’s, comedian Martha Rage could put the speaker part of the old telephone in her mouth. I saw her do it on TV.

My ex wife could give Samantha Ramsdell a run for her money

Flashlight – https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=407956227063450

I remember an episode of M*A*S*H where a pre Cheers George Wendt played a soldier who (apparently on a dare) got a billiard ball stuck in his mouth. Wackiness then ensued.

Here’s more about that flashlight from Guinness World Records

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/news/2021/7/canadian-inventor-hacksmith-creates-the-worlds-brightest-flashlight-668374

What purpose does a light that bright serve? Just because something is possible does not make it necessary.

Am I the only one who thinks that being a woman and having such a big mouth is something I wouldn’t be proud of?

It was probably one of those motor driven surfboards

Life must be boring for Lori and Samantha

Samantha, Lori, James, you’re now legends in your own minds.

Take care, may famed nothingburger Monte Rock the Thirdord be with you, and gesundheit.

The text looks better today :)

Samantha’s husband must have used a lot of ball gags trying to keep her quiet!

A whole apple. Her parents must be so proud.

No one comments on the comic topics anymore. Maybe GoComics should give Silver his own comic page.

Has anyone been able to figure out if this new artist is permanent or only subbing in for a while? I keep checking their dot com and socials, but the company is mum about this change. Seems odd there wasn’t any announcement given that John Graziano has his own profile page on the dot com celebrating that fact that he’s only the 7th artist for this strip since 1918. If he’s stepped down (retired, quit, etc.), then this new artist would be the 8th one and should also be celebrated in some way!

Source: https://www.ripleys.com/weird-news/author/graziano/

Don’t think a boat can go that long without stopping to refuel…

Lori started surfing just after midnight. Surfed 2 hours, and took a break. Surfed 1 hour, and took a break. Surfed 3 hours, and took a break. (See where this is going?) Around 11pm she had surfed a total of 8 hours. She was very sleepy.

And Samantha’s boyfriend wouldn’t trade her for the world…