Close to Home by John McPherson for October 24, 2021

No wonder the kid is crying; his pants are on backwards.

As per the dropped ice cream cone! Time for cement floors and a hose!

Same idea for conference rooms.

Look out Bleeb! You’re gonna get rolled over!

Or you could simply forgo the rug rats

These “stains” are pretty evenly spaced.

Any real stain would not blend in quite so well.

Ew ew ew

Might work well at a fraternity house.

Insert:(Dobie’s “on vacation” comments)

“Is it bajillion or bazillion? I never get that number right! When I was in school, I thought: Man, when am I ever gonna use this! Now, I wish I’d studied harder!”

What the gorram hell is that next to the kid? Did Argor get squished or something?

That’s why Bleeb missed yesterday: he was working hard to make these rugs.

Brilliant! I’ll take 100 square feet. Deliver it to the Missouri Governors office.

Shouldn’t there be some sham poo stains on that carpet?

Just like distressed finishes.

Bleeb should be over by the kid, lapping up some of that ice cream.

There IS some potential there……

We had a countertop in the break room where I worked. It was gray with little brown and black splotches. Coffee spills blended right in!

Please tell me you don’t have one for people with a drinking problem…

A rugrat starter carpet.

Bleebs on a roll today!

Never buy carpet lighter in color than cat puke.

Even Bleeb seems to blend in pretty well with that carpeting.

Our first rug was a brown, green, yellow, orange and tan floral pattern. It made it through three kids.

Hardwood floors, I will never voluntarily have wall to wall carpet again.

Umm what type of stains?