That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 01, 2021

I love Paris. / Why, oh why do I love Paris? / Because Venus induced me to.

“Don’t bug me now kid. I think I have a chance at both of them.”

You know, his chances would be lot better if he didn’t always bring his kid along to the first date.

“Dear Milly, I’m so glad you’re back home. Richard tells me you were held captive by a Saracen.”

“Yes, Connie, it was two whole weeks of being raped and ravaged every day.”

“My god, I can’t imagine how you must feel.”

“Oh, Connie, it’s terrible. He doesn’t write, he doesn’t call…”

“Now, for technique, just tiptoe to those two lips, to the two lips where you want be. Just tiptoe to those two lips with me!”

Tom Cruise’s first movie role was a forgettable scene as Cupid…

Paris came upon Helen (ere Troy), / guided by a well-armed winged boy. / Venus birthed his pursuit, / setting up their “meet cute,” / which would bring Helen’s husband no joy.

“Come on, man, ask her to dance!”

“I don’t know. I’m not fully vaccinated against covid and she looks pale and sickly."

“Oh, that? That’s just from the syphilis.”

“Well, okay.”

“You’ll be a princess in Troy. What can go wrong with that?”

“Don’t worry about a thing, Claudius, you just introduce yourself, and I’ll wing it!”

Paris learned as a Prince back in Troy, / for two women, a wingman employ. / If you’d conquer, divide. / She’ll soon be by your side. / Would it work with a naked wing-boy?

Forget about it. Two at the same time?

the original dating game contestants were much more camera-shy…

Here he comes now – true he’s a zero, but it’s the little kid you have to watch out for!

Being a bit bored, Cupid tries lining up a threesome

“Cupid I keep trying to tell you, I want men.” (not that there’s anything wrong with that)

Cupid egging on Paris, “Yes, I know you’re a nerd. It’s ok – ask her if she’s read any good books. Smile a lot and and look clueless. Women love that. Just whatever you do, don’t start talking about Dungeons & Dragons.”

Cupid- the original “wing man” !

He’s making a dreadful mistake/ but it’s one that he’s certain to make../ he’s a sucker for looks/ (he’s no fan of books)/ He’ll succumb to her “booty shake”../// A rational move? Send her back !/ She never had such a great rack../ and this painting suggests/ that the state of her breasts/ is already running to slack../// We’re reduced to a simple concern/ whose source we’re unlikely to learn:/ when some loins burn with lust/ why ( it’s absurdly unjust!)/ must uncountable innocents burn ?

“Well Helen, if size doesn’t matter, then YOU take Shorty!”

“Look, maybe they’ve got a clean diaper to spare. You won’t know unless you ask!”

Never mind the Battle of Troy. / Tis the poetry that brings me joy. / The limerick rhymes / are the sign of the times. / Ismael, Solstice, Bookworm… My boys!

“And while I’m on that student loan debt no-no topic, do NOT mention that the loan got you an ever-so-marketable Liberal Arts degree…”

Poor baby. Don’t get a loan you can’t pay back… duh!

Venus Induces Helen to Fall in Love with Paris: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Angelica_Kauffmann_-_Venus_Induces_Helen_to_Fall_in_Love_with_Paris_-_WGA12099.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/09/masterpiece-2800.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far, 4 works by this artist have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2015/08/14?comments=visible 

has the prior (the 16 hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated, but perhaps the text remains informative).

And Venus was at it again/ when that most vulnerable of men/ to Lewinski succumbed/ and a nation, “down-dumbed”/..chose “W”. It’s been downhill since then…

Marko had his choice, two girls or a cute little boy, he can’t have both,.he will be happy remembering the day while in jail.

After he returned home from the boat ride, he noticed he was still the tallest person.

His wife wasn’t too happy; as he didn’t bring back any riches that had been promised for posing naked in that far-away land.

Paris and Cupid, Venus and Helen; / these are the figures on whom we’ve been dwellin.’ / But others, (more central), / are not incidental / to the passion the humans both fell in. /// Next to Venus are two feathered coo-ers. / (These white doves might be missed by most viewers.) / They symbolize things / like pure love borne on wings, / and they taste great when roasted on skewers.

The original wingman.