Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 14, 2021

One time I was 31 years old.

One time I was 3,001 years old.

May the Lord be with you.

Nesyamun said, “Being dead sucks!”

So what did Nasyamun sound like? A baritone, A tenor? (They also somehow did it with Val Kilmer’s artificial voice box to sound like his original voice when he got strickened with throat cancer.)

Well, the 3000 year old priest didn’t say much. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/listen-recreated-voice-3000-year-old-egyptian-mummy-180974048/

I guess if a male vampire bat is trying to woo a female, he takes her out for Chinese or Italian?

Once again I take pen in hand – no, wait, Once again I put keys under my fingers and follow @stevesilver48’s lead:

A man driving down the road sees a sign in front of a house that says “$5 for talking dog”. The man is perplexed and decides to pull over to investigate. After parking he walks up to the porch where a man is sitting in a rocking chair enjoying the day.

The driver asks “I saw your sign about a talking dog? Where can I see this dog?”

To which the man rocking simply points to the backyard and says “In his house along the back fence.”

The driver begins to walk to the side of the house, along the side of the house and into the backyard where he sees a dog lying in front of a dog house.

The driver asked the dog “Are you the talking dog?”

The dog simply replies “Yup.”

To which the driver replies “That’s amazing how did you learn to talk?”

The dog answered: ”When I was a puppy the CIA picked me up and brought me in and taught me how to speak several different languages. One of my languages was Arabic. The Iraq War broke out and they decided to send me over to Iraq and collect information. Who is going to expect that a dog could understand Arabic, right? Well, when the war ended I won a Bronze Star. I returned to the US and I joined the TSA. I sniffed out drugs, guns, explosives and won all sorts of accolades. I eventually retired, found myself a (female dog), have some puppies who grow up and move out and this is where I finally ended up.”

The driver who is absolutely stunned at this point looks at the dog and says “That’s amazing!“, and then swiftly walks back to the front of the house.

When he gets to the front of the house he confronts the homeowner and says “$5?! That’s all you want for that talking dog is $5?!”

To which the homeowner replies “That dog is a liar, he’s never done any of that stuff.”

Until next time.

In case anyone was interested in trying it out for themselves:

https://www.livescience.com/magic-mushroom-injection-case-report.html

And the priest said “I want my Mummy.” And he sounded like Alan Rickman, too.

My dad told me this joke, so it’s pretty wholesome I think: An old man was taking a walk. He saw a frog on the sidewalk. “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess!” it said. The old man bent down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and kept walking. “Didn’t you hear me? If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess!” the frog shouted. “I’m 92,” the old man said. “I’d rather have a talking frog.”

so it’s a virus?

It was in the dead of winter when a young Polish Jew crossed the Border of Russia, seeking asylum from one of the many pogroms in that area. The thermometer read twenty below zero, and he was looking for a place to warm his bones when he was attacked by a huge Russian wolfhound. He stopped to grab a stick with which to defend himself. But it was frozen solid in the ground.

“What kind of a stupid country is this!” he cried. “Instead of tying up the dogs they tie down the sticks!”

So is this now officially become a random gags section?

Of course French kissing increases social bonds. Bail bonds also.

Take care, may esteemed bat expert Marucci “Slugger” Louisvord be with you, and gesundheit.

Wouldn’t injecting himself with “tea” just outright kill him in the first place?

Nesyamum’s first reconstructed words were “Happy Easter to all of you I won’t see until next Christmas and don’t forget Silver Dollar BINGO on Wednesday nights”.

French Vampire Bats exchange blood with one another by American Kissing.

How did they understand what Nesayamun had to say? He only would have spoken ancient Egyptian and no one knows what that sounded like.

Those bloody bats!

Props to the 30-year old Nebraskan for pushing the envelope so the rest of us can know when to stop,

So the guy injected himself with fungi-infused tea instead of drinking it? Really should’ve had his name published for a bone-head stunt like that!

The H stands for Henneguya.

amazing, incredible, wow, and I don’t believe that one

Believe it or not?

When the truth is found — to be — LIES!!!!

To listen to the mummy’s voice and read an article about it go here: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-51223828