Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for November 08, 2021

Ordinarily I stay away from politics. However, now and then I find a meme I can get behind, as with the following:

Vladimir Putin decides to pay a visit to an agricultural collective. He approaches the farmer in charge and asks, “How much wheat do you have, Comrade?”

“Comrade Putin, we have enough wheat to reach God in Heaven!” comes the ready response from the farmer.

“Comrade, as a Marxist, you know there is no God,” Putin replies.

The farmer, not missing a beat, responds, “Comrade Putin, as a Marxist, you know there is no wheat. “

Hens Hanning One time I turned in three blank canvases. I can give them three blank canvases for that price seeing as how I don’t consider myself a good painter.

Meyhan Butlu

One time I weighed 481 pounds.

May the Lord be with you.

Herre Haaning’s masterpieces would be 540,172 kroner and 8 øre… or as Jason would put it, DKK 540,173.09.

My timing has been off the last few days, so tonight I’ve come up with another senior joke.

Rose and Sadie have been friends for over 50 years and in this time, they have shared all kinds of activities and visited many parts of the world together.

Now, in the latter part of their lives, their activities are limited to meeting twice a week to play cards. Today was one of those card days. Whilst Rose is dealing out the cards, Sadie looks at Rose and says, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve tried for five minutes but I just can’t remember it. Please, please tell me your name.”.

Rose stares at Sadie for some time before replying, “How soon do you need to know?”

The case with Haaning is a bit more complicated than this even explains.

The grant gave him the 84K (or rather, the equivalent in Danish currency) specifically to use in a piece which would act as a commentary on the average family wage.

The expectation, based on his previous work, was that he would literally use the currency in the pieces, forming a collage out of them.

Instead, he ended up being dissatisfied with his own payment, since he would apparently have actually lost money from buying additional materials (this is a matter of disagreement between him and the museum), so he decided to use the materials differently, so to speak.

His “completed work”, as displayed, is still an art piece related to Danish wages, and the museum ended up displaying them, so it’ll be tricky for them to have a strong legal case against them.

https://www.npr.org/2021/09/29/1041492941/jens-haaning-kunsten-take-the-money-and-run-art-denmark-blank

My kid could paint nothing better than that.

I just read Steve’s SOB story in yesterdays comments and it brought back memories of a joke I actually pulled on my primary care doctor, who was probably 4 or 5 years into practice. I was having some urinary problems many years back and went to seem him. After some initial questions and checks, he suggested that I see a urologist and recommended one. He told me after seeing the urologist, to schedule a followup to go over what he might find and any recommendations. So on the followup, we were going over what the urologist had found and recommended and my PCD asked me if found whether or not he found my prostate enlarged (BPH). Here is where I nailed him with one I had heard years before.

I told him the urologist did check my prostate (did a DRE). I said he told me it would be uncomfortable, but lean over the examining table would make it easier. I then told my PCD that “he put one hand on my left should and the other hand on my right sho….” and then said “Why that SOB” and saw his jaw practically hit the floor in utter surprise – after a few seconds, I burst into laughter and he realized he had just been had.

I told him I was somewhat surprised he never heard that one in medical school. I originally heard it from a friend, but never thought I would have had the opportunity to pull it on a doctor.

A woman was getting onto a bus, carrying her baby. The bus driver looked at them. “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen,” he said. The woman was furious, but was too stunned to reply, so she found a seat and sat down. “What’s wrong? You look quite upset,” a nearby man asked, concerned. “That awful bus driver just said the most insulting thing to me!” she said. “I should have told him to go to hell, but I was so shocked I couldn’t think of anything to say!” “Wow,” said the man. “What kind of bus driver would be so rude to a passenger? I think you should go up there right now and demand an apology.” “Yes, you’re right. I’m going up to him right now,” she said. “Good!” said the man. “If you want, I can hold your monkey till you get back.”

He could have easily painted portraits of Billy Joe and Bobbie Sue.

The drawing of the millennial taking pictures of the blank canvases with his cell phone not only is funny, but speaks volumes of contemporary society. They even went viral on Facebook. Believe It or Not!

Beyhan Mutlu was a boho existential philosopher trying to find himself.

Did they ever find him? (Beyhan Mutlu)

Using a bale of cotton to make Black Lives Matter t-shirts is racist.

It is too bad that cotton and wool are being shunned as fabrics because nearly everything is made from petroleum adding to the world’s micro-plastic woes.

I think Jens and Beyhan are one and the same person.

Take care, may esteemed Fuller Brush door to door salesman Eddie “I Have Children From Coast to Coast” Strokord be with you, and gesundheit.

Three shirts, or even 4 or 5, weigh considerably less than a pound. Must be a lot of waste in making t-shirts. Art is what ever you can get a way with.

For Beyhan, that’s what you call hiding in plain sight.

Each tee shirt weighs 6.4 ounces or less, true? [(480*16)/1200]

But, how many T-shirts can a married bale of cotton make.

That cotton farmer probably hard pressed to get $150 for the cotton. But yet 1200 t shirts is $12,000 or more!

Is that a pile of the “Have You Seen Me?” shirts? Nice touch.

Also…. why are there so many loiterers leaving comment spam on all of the Ripley’s comics?

Good, joke!

I wonder if anyone in the search party found Beyhan?