Close to Home by John McPherson for December 13, 2021

He should be confessing to a priest.

So the toys last year were all left in a rain-filled ditch or behind the front hedges?

I hope everyone got a ladder so they could get their toys off the roof.

130 paperboys? Where did he find that many these days? And how did so few cover so much territory? And if he gave them super powers for the night, where do I sign up?

With the pandemic, Santa had the worst time substituting toys and getting parts! His Elves were at wits end so they drank the night away…

I guess he gambled away his sled and Rudolph?

A 2013 pre-Bleeb strip. It looks like Mr McPherson is taking a vacation of at least 2 weeks.

Well, that sounds like a sound business plan to me. Just think about how happy those paper boys were to catch the juicy gig.

What are paperboys?

Are there any actual paperboys left? (By the way: they now say news carriers). And if they’re former carriers, then they’re probably as old as you.

I wondered why there was a poker chip in my new socks.

Sanity Claus?

So that’s why they were soggy…..

The couch legs look like reindeer feet

130 paperboys? You mean, FedEx?

It looks like the ’Doctor" is wearing a prison uniform.

Ten Hail Mary’s and 5 Are Fathers!

And still going to therapy.

So that is the reason why I found my present 2 months later, hidden in the bush by the front door.

Bad Santa!

Economic stimulus package. Way to go Santa!

Years ago I used tell my friends little boy how my dad played poker with Hanukkah Harry and Santa.