That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for December 09, 2021

My original post in 2015:

“Now, don’t ever complain again that I don’t help around the house.”

They would churn day and night and they couldn’t figure out why they never had children.

Whatever you do, don’t show this painting to Freud

“I know! We should use this to make ice cream!” “Charles, this is a butter churn.” “I know that, but there’s not reason we can’t use it for ice cream.” Charles had never made ice cream before. Or churned butter. But how hard could it be? His wife could do it!

The shy boy watched the girl at her churn / with deep longing, but also concern. / As he stared at her fist / he desired an assist; / for her hand to grasp him did he yearn. /// He had offered her his helping hand, / (thinking less with his brain than a gland). / Then she said (of the stick), / “Not too long; not quite thick.” / And with that remark, he’s unmanned.

Amish foreplay? (just kidding)

“For every thing (churn, churn, churn)…/ there is a season (churn, churn, churn..)…”

your plunger is great, but couldn’t you invent the toilet first?

I’ve hand churned a lot of butter in my time, and yes, you need a relief churner. Your arms get tired. I always envied Almanzo Wilder’s mom her rocking churn.

“Look, I’ve told you ‘hand over hand for first bat’, DOESN”T SKIP SPACES." (Explanation: when kids played sandlot ball the captains squared off and the bat was tossed to one of them who would grab the bat mid-air and the other captain would clutch it with his fist pressing on the top of his rival. Alternately each would grab the bat handle grip until they reached the knob and the last hand to top the knob won.) However, when courting couples are churning butter, I don’t think baseball is on their minds.

more great moments in phallic portraiture – the lesson

“I get the hint Simon, but just sliding your hand up and down on the pole does not help.”

“Up – down, up – down, faster faster….”

Yup, like a lot of the other fans, I thought this was totally going in a sexual direction.

But you really need to get out there and churn a living.

Ok, you want me to grab it like this and then what?

As Elizabeth worked at her churn / A handsome lad she did discern / And his gentleman’s touch / On the dasher was such / As made her decide, “It’s his turn.”

Too easy.

While with lust young Alonzo doth burn,

His advances Griselda doth spurn.

Her larger concern

Is the stuff in the churn

And he will not be asked to return. ///

He tells her his heart is a-flutter

At the thought of Griselda- in butter..

But she knows that his heart

Is not the main part:

That’s his mind – which abides in the gutter.

He: I like the way you churn holding the pole. She: I like churning.

“Ok, now that you’ve got the motion down pat…”

The Helping Hand: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Enoch_Wood_Perry,_Jr._-_The_helping_hand.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

A slightly larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2015/08/masterpiece-1287.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 2 works, by this artist, have been used here (3 times total, including this Throwback Thursday repeat). 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2015/08/27?comments=visible 

has the first time this was used here (the 15 hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated, and the line breaks removed, but perhaps the text remains informative).

He’s not really training her to churn butter.

Gerogette and earl just married, and already she wishing earl had something like the broom handle for her to play with.

If you are going to be serious about entering the butter churning contests, you need better posture! No crossing of the legs! Sit up straight!

§ As one part of his plan to romance her

he said, “This small scale-model’s the answer.

Put one hand on your hip

and now watch how I grip.

That’s the first step to be a pole dancer.”