It’s been too long since I’ve picked on my fellow Irishmen. Time to start making up for that oversight:
O’Brien comes staggering into Murphy’s pub, beat black and blue. Murphy stops wiping down the counter and exclaims, “O’Brien, what in the world happened? Who beat you up so bad?” [Murphy, while a compassionate man, had little respect for the adverbial form.]
“T’was Flynn did this t’me,” O’Brien replies.
“Flynn?” Murphy replies, incredulously. “Why, that little squint could na’ have done this to you, unless he had somethin’ in his hand!”
“That he did,” said O’Brien. “He had a fireplace poker in his hand.”
“But did ye not have anythin’ in your own hand?”
“I did indeed – Mrs. Flynn’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was…but useless in battle.”
I’m surprised he found a 55 pound clothes dryer, the smallest one I can find at the stores around here is 33.5 kg, 74 lbs. I suspect I have 55 pounds more than him on my belly, but I wouldn’t run a marathon.
I did some repairs on my parents’ clothes dryers. A modern dryer is a lot lighter than my grandmothers. But, I’m still surprised he found one that weighed as little as 55 pounds.
All those glasses. A conspicuous display of wealth. Invest in a desalinization machine, Boils seawater and collects the steam. condenses the vapor into water droplets. Waters the soil and turns sections of Dubai into flower gardens, vegetable gardens, and fruit orchards. Then, acres of grassland to feed flocks of sheep.
eromlig over 2 years ago
It’s been too long since I’ve picked on my fellow Irishmen. Time to start making up for that oversight:
O’Brien comes staggering into Murphy’s pub, beat black and blue. Murphy stops wiping down the counter and exclaims, “O’Brien, what in the world happened? Who beat you up so bad?” [Murphy, while a compassionate man, had little respect for the adverbial form.]
“T’was Flynn did this t’me,” O’Brien replies.
“Flynn?” Murphy replies, incredulously. “Why, that little squint could na’ have done this to you, unless he had somethin’ in his hand!”
“That he did,” said O’Brien. “He had a fireplace poker in his hand.”
“But did ye not have anythin’ in your own hand?”
“I did indeed – Mrs. Flynn’s breast, and a thing of beauty it was…but useless in battle.”
monkeysky over 2 years ago
The worst part is, if Ben just carried a drying rack it probably would have worked just as well by the time he got there.
Also, as for the fish fact: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rain_of_animals
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
plenty for a citywide fish fry in Texarkana, right?
Caldonia over 2 years ago
When Ben finished the race, all his clothes had shrunk. And he found out there had been a Kleenex in there, too.
Caldonia over 2 years ago
Two cannibals were dining on a clumsy guy. “What’s wrong with this stew?” the wife asked. “I can’t get a decent bite at all, it’s all thumbs.”
RLG Premium Member over 2 years ago
I’m surprised he found a 55 pound clothes dryer, the smallest one I can find at the stores around here is 33.5 kg, 74 lbs. I suspect I have 55 pounds more than him on my belly, but I wouldn’t run a marathon.
Jeffin Premium Member over 2 years ago
Is the fish fall an annual as well as an animal event?
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
And the giggling crowd did not want to ruin Ben’s moment by telling him that is NOT how a clothes dryer is used.
Take care, may wannabe 2nd grade bully Sean “Three O’clock, revolt” Millord be with you, and gesundheit.
cornshell over 2 years ago
Hence the expression: it’s raining catfish and dogfish!
NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 2 years ago
Once had it rain earthworms. Small ones were on the roof of my shed after a rainstorm. They certainly didn’t climb up there.
dv1093 over 2 years ago
Can anyone explain the how and why of the fish?
Jogger2 over 2 years ago
I did some repairs on my parents’ clothes dryers. A modern dryer is a lot lighter than my grandmothers. But, I’m still surprised he found one that weighed as little as 55 pounds.
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
And then somebody at the Dubai hotel yelled: Jenga!
paranormal over 2 years ago
Did Texarkana, Arkansas which is just across State Line Street experience falling fish???
globalenterprize1990 over 2 years ago
All those glasses. A conspicuous display of wealth. Invest in a desalinization machine, Boils seawater and collects the steam. condenses the vapor into water droplets. Waters the soil and turns sections of Dubai into flower gardens, vegetable gardens, and fruit orchards. Then, acres of grassland to feed flocks of sheep.
markhughw over 2 years ago
That’s a very light dryer.
chromosome Premium Member over 2 years ago
I’d hate to participate in the creation of a champagne pyramid like that. I’d be the unlucky one who was close to the top and bumped into it.
schaefer jim over 2 years ago
I will say some of the categories are pure BS, others are good!
spaced man spliff over 2 years ago
Manna from Fish Heaven .
spaced man spliff over 2 years ago
Why no practicing Irish lawyers? They never pass the bar !!
oakie817 over 2 years ago
when he got to the finish line, Ben Blowes wife asked him, ‘so, where’s the washer?’ ba dum tss
PrinceMarvel Premium Member over 2 years ago
Cloudy with a chance of Fishy Meatballs.
Running Buffalo Premium Member over 2 years ago
Ben Blowes chose the wrong career path with that kind of name.