Free Range by Bill Whitehead for March 21, 2022

“Good thing I have an exorcist on speed dial.”

No extra charge for “mutant” side effects.

It has prozac in everything.

“Lemme have an overblown-burger.”

I’ll take two!!

I think Stephen King designed those meal boxes…

“Mmm… No.”

Umm, just give me a Coke original.

Give us two morose meals and three slightly dejected meals.

Only if you can super size it.

The extreme crunchwrap.

We could all use one of those!

“Impossible “ burgers? Will you have an extra side of glyphosate?

Um….no thanks! Ooooo weeeeeee oooo weeeeee

No thanks, I’ll just have my usual bowl of oatmeal.

Too many syllables. I’ll have a Coke.

Would you like to superlative-size that?

(Sung to the tune of A Whole New World) “it’s a Brave New World!” (With apologies to Aldous Huxley)

I can see why they would stop serving happy meals these days.

No I’m not Happy!