Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for May 04, 2022

We Americans have been experiencing trouble at our southern border as of late, but border problems have long been the norm. Consider this strange case from many years ago…

A Mexican walks across the border every day pushing a wheelbarrow. The Border Agents are convinced the man is a smuggler, and almost every day they stop him to search the wheelbarrows, which invariably turn out to contain nothing but dirt. Day after day, week after week, year after year, this pattern continues.

Finally the man comes no more, and the Border Agents hear that he’s retired. Unable to restrain himself, one of the Agents goes into Mexico and finds the man. “You know we always suspected you of being a smuggler,” he begins. “Yet we never discovered what you were smuggling. Tell me, WERE you a smuggler?”

“Sí, Señor,” the Mexican replied. “I was a smuggler my entire career.”

“But what were you smuggling?”

The Mexican smiled and answered, “Wheelbarrows.”

An elephant meets a boa for the first time. Intrigued, he asks him:

“You’re a weird creature. How do you move? You have no legs.”

“Well, it’s simple, I’m crawling” said the boa.

“Oh, Okay!” said the elephant.

The elephant started to move, but, even more intrigued, he turns and asks again:

“Excuse me, but how do you reproduce? You have no balls!”

“You’re really kidding! said the boa. “I lay eggs and I don’t need …”

“Ah … Ok!”

The elephant wants to leave, but returns again, sits down in front of the boa constrictor and says:

“I’m sorry to bother you again … But how do you feed yourself? You have no hands.”

“You’re getting boring! I wrap myself around the food. I open my mouth wide and swallow the prey whole.”

“Okay” says the elephant, "if I understood correctly

You crawl

You have no balls,

You have a big mouth.

By any chance, are you a politician?"

Until next time.

Snakes

A boy scout says to his scout leader, “Sir, is this snake poisonous?”

The scout leader says, “No, that snake’s not poisonous at all.”

So, the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror…

The scout leader says, “But that snake is venomous . Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let’s get it right next time, boys."

And all five babies still razz him about crossing the finish line before he did.

Take care, may famed Mexican snake meat chef Serpiente “Some Days You Eat The Boa And Some Days The Boa Eats You” Ramirezord be with you, and gesundheit.

I saw that shark in 1994. Very cool.

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter’s helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.

“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.

“Thanks,” the girl says.

The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and also to the cat’s testicles.

“Little Partner”, the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”

The little girl replies thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”

Until next time.

So I advertised a python for sale in the paper.

A man called and said, “What size is it?”

I replied, “It’s quite big.”

“How many feet?”

“None, it’s a snake…”

There’s a pub in Oxford called THE BOAR that’s been around since the 1200’s.

These runner facts have gotten old and stale.

Hmm, apparently a Sharknado went through, back in ’86…

More amazing than the marathoner’s running feat is the fact that he got 5 four-year-olds to sit still for over two hours.

That house in Oxford England must have been the idea for making all the Sharknado movies…

There used to be a giant shark sculpture sticking out of a building near my office. Then the owner moved out.

Interesting on the shark …

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Headington_Shark