The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for May 27, 2022

Easy to speak bad about absent people.

I’d worry more about Mother Gargoyle “cooking” in her cauldron!!!

/SHMIRK/

Ooh ooh good one Brutus. Low blow but spot on.

I heard that 90% of all automobile accidents occur within 25 miles of home, so I moved.

I sure hope Gladys did not hear what Brutus said. You never know when someone will pop up unexpectedly.

Since I live alone there is only one safety precaution I need to know while cooking food in the kitchen. Never stick metal utensils in the microwave with the food cooking.

Or came across the emergency room logs.

Well, that, Brutus, and all the cutlery, appliances and heat around, too.

That is not hard to figure out. I spend 90% of my time in the kitchen!

or just the ones that told that joke to her… although my house hold has many accidents here too, some referring to the four legged ones that cause them. :}

90% of the accidents in our home occur when i get in my wife’s way in the kitchen…

I like to prove government predictions wrong so I drive 50 miles to have my accidents.

For my chronic ‘Avocado hand’, I keep liquid bandage handy. Very handy.

96.3% of all statistics are made up

Oh Brutus, that was unlike you? A low blow!

Gladys was a born accident.

ba dum tss

That must be true, I heard you were born in a kitchen Brutus.

Gladys swears by Flo Capp’s recipe book. Brutus just swears at it.

Gladys’ cooking is no accident, Mother Gargle was just lousy at teaching her to cook.

Hmmmm…. Is Gladys perchance related to Flo Capp???

But only 90% of the time….

Gladys’…

Gladys’ cooking isn’t an accident, it’s a disaster!

How brave of you, Brutus, cracking wise that way without even a furtive look around to see if Gladys is in earshot. Or do you already know for a fact that she isn’t home?

I was told that bathrooms are the most dangerous room in the house. Maybe for more serious accidents? A fall in the bathroom can be very nasty.