Kliban by B. Kliban for August 19, 2022

Ted really liked his pet stork

He fed it with bird seeds

That met not its food needs —

It had sooner eat fish with a fork

.

Ted’s stork fixation only got worse

His mother tried to get him a nurse

She met with resistance

“I don’t need assistance!”

Ted cried. But it was just the reverse.

.

Of course the outcome was clear

Ted’s ultimate fear was quite near

The stork flock decided

The pet stork was ill-provided

And rescued, making Ted’s sadness severe.

I suppose it’s because Ted has unusually long legs himself… kind of birds of a feather thing.

But did his storks like him?

Felt pretty positive about his sporks, too, I heard.

But what is that creepy thing at the window?

All other options exhausted, Ted turned to befriending storks, but it had yet to produce a child for him.

I’ll bet he lives on Ballard Street.

By a series of calm stealthy movements, I once got within three feet of a great blue heron on a dock near where I worked in Sausalito. They are very large and impressive creatures (somewhat stork-like).

Maybe he remembers when he was delivered by a stork and now imprints on all storks.

“Stork Chow”!

Funny how people look like their pets.