The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for August 24, 2022

Are we supposed to recognize the patient?

Stupor Mario.

i wonder if Luigi has the same problem…

I’m going to prescribe something to get you out of this rut. See Alice in pharmacy.

Are they magic mushrooms?

After all these frenetic years of chasing around, Mario finally sought drug abuse intervention. A sympathetic physician finally earned his trust. Mario admitted to using multiple drugs that by themselves or in combination with others are extremely dangerous, including: Morning Glory seeds, peyote, jimson weed, banana-peels, and also magic mushrooms. He was misled into thinking that such “natural” substances were not dangerous.

Mario is now in rehab, turning himself in for voluntary treatment. He currently has a lawsuit against the game company that he claims cynically used him to make ginormous profits. His Princess Peach obsession required intense psychiatric treatment at the famed Dr. Freidegg Institute.

Mario wants his story known publicly. Dr. Aloysius Lipschitz, in collaboration with journalist Ivan Heidensieker, has submitted a case study concerning Mario for future publication in the Journal of Eurytopic Research & Kinetic Studies.

/p

Seems like they do double his size, though.

I can still hear the music from the first games!

“But Doc!! They’re performance enhancing mushrooms. Just ask Princess Rosalina. "

Mario….

Try micro-dosing

If they made me stronger or faster, I’d consider eating mushrooms. Maybe I’ll just stick to spinach.

You got that from your Fathers side when one of his ancestors was poisoned with mushrooms…

But fireball throwing isn’t supposed to come from mushrooms, only flowers.

Game over man!

Italians aren’t used to eating mushrooms that aren’t on pizzas or in pasta.

That’s the whole point, I’m told.

If you plan to try Prevagen, you might not want to take it right now!