Hacking gets a lot of publicity, but most cybercrime is actually in the form of “social engineering” (just plain trickery) that requires very little technical knowledge.
The most common form of this is “phishing”, where the phisher pretends to be a trusted source (such as an employer or ISP representative) who asks the target for their login information.
I try to stay topical when I can, and went in search of a Superman joke. My source claims to have over 130 Superman jokes, but most of them involved (1) (NSFW) Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Invisible Man; (2) a drunk Superman in his secret identity convincing a bar patron that he’s drinking magic beer; (3) Puns using Super Vision and supervision.
However, I did find one that doesn’t fall in any of those categories. Who would be offended, eromlig? Enjoy.
SUPERMAN: my nemesis is a billionaire who uses his riches to pursue his personal vendettas instead of helping people on a global scale.
It’s fairly well known that Cavill is a video game geek, which is the primary reason he left his role in the Netflix series “The Witcher”. The plot was straying too far from the video game and books source material, and he didn’t like that.
A man and a woman crash into each other when driving down a country road. As the man gets out ot the car shouting at the woman she gets out and starts apologising and says “you’re right, you’re right, it was all my fault and I will take full blame for all of this. Look I will call the police and when they arrive I will explain everything”. The man calms down and let’s woman call the police. When she is off the phone, she goes back to the car and comes back with a bottle of whiskey. “I bought this for my husband’s birthday, but I think we need it more just to settle our nerves, here you have the first drink.” The man takes the bottle and downs at least a couple of double shots worth and hands the bottle over to the woman. But she just puts the lid back on. “Aren’t you having any?” the man asks. “Probably, later on, she replied, once the police have been.”
Oh thank goodness. I’d hate to think I was paying off a criminal enterprise with liquid assets without being able to claw back a portion under my Schedule S and Schedule C deductions
One for today:- A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter’s helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.“Thanks,” the girl says.The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and also to the cat’s jewels.“Little Partner”, the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”The little girl replies thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.” … Birdman out.
My dad used to keep a clipboard in his den, where he spent most of his time. This clip board had lots and lots of pages where he wrote things as reminders, where he kept track of electric usage and water usage (from 1963, when we began living in that home, until he died Dec. 2006), a page for each of us 3 kids as to when and where we went to school (military family). Anyway, one day he was flipping through the papers looking for something, and he came across a page that had 2 sentences written. They were totally unrelated to each other. He looked at it for quite a while, then said, “Oh, yeah, these are the punch lines to 2 different jokes. Maybe someday I’ll remember the jokes.” As far as I know, he never did remember the jokes!
Templo S.U.D. almost 2 years ago
So, all Hotmail users with “eh” as their password were Canadian or something?
monkeysky almost 2 years ago
Hacking gets a lot of publicity, but most cybercrime is actually in the form of “social engineering” (just plain trickery) that requires very little technical knowledge.
The most common form of this is “phishing”, where the phisher pretends to be a trusted source (such as an employer or ISP representative) who asks the target for their login information.
Bilan almost 2 years ago
Does the hacker need to give you a receipt for the ransom to be tax-deductible?
Charlie Fogwhistle almost 2 years ago
I try to stay topical when I can, and went in search of a Superman joke. My source claims to have over 130 Superman jokes, but most of them involved (1) (NSFW) Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Invisible Man; (2) a drunk Superman in his secret identity convincing a bar patron that he’s drinking magic beer; (3) Puns using Super Vision and supervision.
However, I did find one that doesn’t fall in any of those categories. Who would be offended, eromlig? Enjoy.
SUPERMAN: my nemesis is a billionaire who uses his riches to pursue his personal vendettas instead of helping people on a global scale.
BATMAN: [shifts uncomfortably in his chair].
Mugens Premium Member almost 2 years ago
It’s fairly well known that Cavill is a video game geek, which is the primary reason he left his role in the Netflix series “The Witcher”. The plot was straying too far from the video game and books source material, and he didn’t like that.
MY DOG IS MY CO PILOT almost 2 years ago
My favourite joke at the moment.
A man and a woman crash into each other when driving down a country road. As the man gets out ot the car shouting at the woman she gets out and starts apologising and says “you’re right, you’re right, it was all my fault and I will take full blame for all of this. Look I will call the police and when they arrive I will explain everything”. The man calms down and let’s woman call the police. When she is off the phone, she goes back to the car and comes back with a bottle of whiskey. “I bought this for my husband’s birthday, but I think we need it more just to settle our nerves, here you have the first drink.” The man takes the bottle and downs at least a couple of double shots worth and hands the bottle over to the woman. But she just puts the lid back on. “Aren’t you having any?” the man asks. “Probably, later on, she replied, once the police have been.”
dwdl21 almost 2 years ago
Sure it wasn’t just Canada eh? lol
papajim545 almost 2 years ago
Nope, not gonna
198.23.5.11 almost 2 years ago
The cops are interviewing the loser in a tavern brawl.
COP:“Can you describe the man who broke your nose?”
LOSER:“I WAS describing him when he broke my nose!”
moondog42 Premium Member almost 2 years ago
Oh thank goodness. I’d hate to think I was paying off a criminal enterprise with liquid assets without being able to claw back a portion under my Schedule S and Schedule C deductions
rbullfogg almost 2 years ago
There needs to be more than a slap on the wrist for hackers! They do too much damage!
Stephen Gilberg almost 2 years ago
That was back before the ILOVEYOU virus. A relatively primitive time for cybersecurity.
stamps almost 2 years ago
Was hotmail a Canadian company, eh?
RonBerg13 Premium Member almost 2 years ago
I was mowing my lawn when the blond living next door came out her front door and looked in her mail box.
Then she shook her head and went back inside.
A little later I’m edging the front sidewalk when she comes out her front door a second time and looks in her mail box.
Then she shook her head again and went back inside.
A little later I’m trimming my hedge when she comes out a third time carrying a bat and looks in her mail box.
Then, she stepped back, raised the bat into the air, and started smashing her mail box to pieces.
I put my hedge trimmer down and stepped over to her and asked, “What in heaven’s name are you doing?”
She said, “I can’t take it anymore!”
And I asked, “Can’t take what anymore?”
And she answered, “Well, I’m currently using my PC, and every once in awhile, it says I have mail. But when I come out here, my mail box is empty!”
Birdman47 almost 2 years ago
One for today:- A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter’s helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.“That sure is a nice fire truck,” the fire fighter says with admiration.“Thanks,” the girl says.The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and also to the cat’s jewels.“Little Partner”, the fire fighter says, “I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.”The little girl replies thoughtfully, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.” … Birdman out.
Cathy P. almost 2 years ago
My dad used to keep a clipboard in his den, where he spent most of his time. This clip board had lots and lots of pages where he wrote things as reminders, where he kept track of electric usage and water usage (from 1963, when we began living in that home, until he died Dec. 2006), a page for each of us 3 kids as to when and where we went to school (military family). Anyway, one day he was flipping through the papers looking for something, and he came across a page that had 2 sentences written. They were totally unrelated to each other. He looked at it for quite a while, then said, “Oh, yeah, these are the punch lines to 2 different jokes. Maybe someday I’ll remember the jokes.” As far as I know, he never did remember the jokes!