Close to Home by John McPherson for February 12, 2023

Don’t believe that’s Santa.

“And you’re not licensed for operating that sleigh with the reindeer. That requires a special endorsement”!

Tyrants!!! where’s his 1st amendment auditor?

Isn’t that Robin Hood Santa – collecting from the rich (to give out to the poor at Christmas)?

Nick try, Nick! Maybe next time you’ll dump the suit and beard!

But… but… but… the supply chain interruption, and, and, that empty store shelves thing, and, and, the economy, I’m still deliverin’….

ALRIGHT, THATS IT! You two guys are goin’ on the list! I know when you’re sleeping, I know when you’re awake… and you can watch out, cry, pout, all that stuff… ‘cause I’m comin’ for ya, and I’m bringin’ reindeer! Wait till you see what reindeer can do to your lawns… and your roofs!

(Note: Whew! I think I need to dial back the caffeine drinks!)

I always thought he had beady-eyes.

Bleeb’s back! (happy dance)

Lots of packages for the evidence room. Hmmm a PS5 eh? Think I’ll take it home for, uh “forensic studies.”

I have a poem for this, too. With chords.Christmas CrimeE7 Hear Ye All, Hear Ye All, We will let it be knownE7 To everyone present That it shall be shown

A7 The man we bring before you is guilty of crimesE7 Which he has committed many millions of times

B7 We begin with the obvious, breaking and enterA7 He waits until midnight, and then through a vent or

E7 A chimney he crawls with the stealth of a mouseE7 And it’s said that he does this at every houseA7 Also pressing charges is the SPCAE7 It seems he’s got reindeer hitched up to a sleigh

B7 He’s whipping them constantly, urging them onA7 And he won’t give them a rest between midnight and dawn

E7 Now Homeland Security has claimed that he’s aE7 Foreign born nationa

Bleeb called the police

No worries now since we shot him down yesterday over the Yukon

That’s actually Santa’s brother, Bubba.

He’s dressed in red -maybe he is stealing from Eagle’s fans and leaving gifts for Chief’s fans?

Good to see you, Bleeb!!

“Santa” is thinking: “Dang! I almost got away with it”!

Bleeb was gonna come right out and say “hi”, but he got cold feet.

It appears the gifts were going the wrong direction in the chimney.

Well, now we know what Santa does the rest of the year.

And you’re suppose to deliver stuff, not pick up stuff.

But there is a light out on the Christmas tree.

The Pentagon won’t admit it, but they shot down Santa over Alaska this week.

See? I told you Santa was re-gifting . . .

This is worse then when I found out that the Easter Bunny was stealing the eggs he left

Bad Santa strikes again!

Plus you left stuff, useless stuff, but you leave it none the less.

Rein him in!