Agnes by Tony Cochran for February 22, 2023

suddenly starvation sounds so delicious

Agnes has a future writing menus.

The mothers of two different fellows I dated years ago (and some years apart) were both dieticians… The first in a school, the other in a hospital.

An amazing coincidence.

According to their sons’ stories, they both came up with the most &@!-awful food.

(Or maybe that’s to be expected from a hospital OR a school dietician?)

The first one used to save money on sandwiches for the family’s school and work lunchboxes by grinding up lunch meats, extending them with celery, pickles and mayo, to make “salads” and “spreads” … including “olive loaf salad.”

When I later told that to the one whose mom worked in a hospital, he said she did some of that too…

She even made “hot dog salad.”

But that’s not the worst of it.

They were 7th Day Adventists…

She used Loma Linda vegetarian hot dogs that came in a can.

Speaking for myself, corn dog pudding sounds more appetizing than faux ham salad.

“But I make whatever customers request as long as I have ingredients for it. That’s my policy.”

- Master, Midnight Diner

My mom would make “ham salad” by grinding up bologna and mixing it with Miracle Whip & pickle relish.

It was not good………… (especially after sitting in a paper bag all morning during 2-a-day football practice on a >100° day (that is, of course, °F). I did not make practice the next day!)

Comes under somewhat the same reasoning as “Why’d you yell fire when you fell into the chocolate?” :)

Marketing mastery!!

next up, ricochet biscuits…

Permission to hurl????? :)