Agnes by Tony Cochran for February 05, 2023

i hope this won’t be involved in making rockets.

Seems like some school districts in this country are already pushing Agnes’s new math.

I always answered my math questions correctly. I couldn’t help it if my teacher had the wrong answer key…☹︎

I may have missed something but why have we been only getting strips from 2017 since the new year?

“Proofs” are correct only if you can eat a whole bag of Oreos…

“Algorithms” are deemed too Political, and are not used…

The old, laughably archaic terms like “Add, Subtract, Multiply, and Divide” have been scrapped in favor of “What if?, This should go here, and Who cares?”

Does it involve using a slide rule?

About right, Agnes. Who needs those numerical details anyway?

Agnes has independently discovered fuzzy logic…with sparkly hair barrettes!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuzzy_logic

There you go! Precision guesswork! You don’t need specifics.

Make all math tests multiple choice where all answers are correct.

agnes is doing japanese math. in news stories here, all numbers are preceded by 約, yaku, which means “about.” for example, 約４キロ, yaku yon kiro, “about four kilometers.” vagueness is a prized commodity and precision considered rude, hence “about” placed before every number. no, i’m not making this up… ☺

Fuzzy math or fuzzy logic. Just so there’s fuzz.

This math could be used at “Ralph’s Pretty Good Grocery”.

Sorry, Agnes, but before you invent new math, you’d better master the old.