Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for April 27, 2023

Guess all the alcohol deadened the pain.

Were staples a thing in medieval times?

A staple of office life……

Sadly this doesn’t work. And believe me, I tried.

Whacking toilet paper?

Love it. I immediately thought of “Chuck” and “Brooklyn 99” where this would be completely normal office behaviour.

In the first panel I thought he would practice Eurythmy.

He has a bright future at Staples.

That’s fine, but let’s see how he does in the rear end copying marathon.

Next up is shredding paper, How fine will they shred the paper by hand and how many sheets in one minutes. Yip yip yip yip yip

Off to the copier!

He cuts paper with a karate chop? That should be harder than severing a 2X4.

A good stapler is hard to find. Wait, is that a swingline. I know a guy who lost a red one. I hope the castle has fire insurance. (yeah, obscure reference, but it’s Thursday. It’s all I got.)

But will they stay stapled?

The best way that I have found to use a stapler is to go slow at first, let the staple cut through the first few pages (about 25% of the way) and then push hard and fast on the stapler to get through the rest of the pages. I am a draftsman and I have had to staple sets of drawings that are up to 200 sheets thick.

Games of the 1st Dunder Mifflin Olympiad. (S2 E3)

Bung feels staple now!

He likes to “Chop” at staples.

Forty pages needs one of those industrial strength staplers and you almost have to be a karate expert to use one.

Bung has an office job?!

Office Olympics, on my list of things to avoid.

The stapler is mightier than the paper

Keeps office work interesting at least…..

But is it a Swingline?

Modern copiers have a stapler built in for heavy duty jobs.

Very clever, very Japanesey, very martial artsy, very funny…

When I was a young lad in the Navy and was at my very first “duty” station, me and my cohorts would shoot staples with a hand action that resembled Chuck Connor’s (Lucas McCain) firing action in The Rifleman . This was in highly serious workplace located at Ft. Mead Md. back in the early ’70s.

How’s the stapler doing after that?