Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for June 29, 2023

Dine-and-dash (or drink-and-dash) is Not Cool. 1) if you get caught, you can end up with a criminal record, which Really limits your life; 2) if you Don’t get caught, some businesses will make your server pay your tab out of their meager wages and tips- and they are generally having a hard enough time as it is. and 3) It reveals you as a totally classless, clueless, and self-entitled clod… and who needs That as their rep?

If you can’t afford drinks in a bar, no problem- take your cash, buy a bottle you Can afford, and invite some friends over to sit around and shoot the breeze Without having to shout at one another over the band or the background noise. It’s Much cheaper. And if they are Good friends, maybe they’ll bring a bottle along with them as well. (Just make sure that you have a sofa they can crash on, or a spare bed, so they don’t risk a DUI going home.)

Sorry, Aunty. I don’t need alcohol that badly. I can’t run anyway.

“Who wanna go?”

She ain’t that fast!

Aunty Acid, to be know from this day forward as 3587295.

You and I will run at the same speed, Aunty, except I have the feeling I will be the one to get caught and have to pay the bill for both of us.

“Wanna” is “want to”, as in “I want to”. “Wantsta” is “wants to”, as in “Who wants to”. So speaketh the Grammar Police…

☝️(˘_ʖ ˘)

Sounds good to me. As long as it’s on your tab.

I prefer having the option to return.

Aunty’s into the ‘Reparations’ philosophy of shopping and dining? Heck, I hadn’t even known she was Woke…

somehow, i don’t picture auntie getting more than a step out the door if she tries to grunt and run…

Who knew there was a Back Alley Exit from the Ladies Room?