The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for May 01, 2023

Zero miles food is a good thing, but I see some problems coming because Brutus have to fight with the pig to eat it.

You butcher, you cook, you eat!

Don’t order a ham sandwich, Brutus, it will take too long.

Once he orders it will be Squeals coming from the kitchen. Only fresh ham and pulled pork this week. Next week is cured and smoked ham and bacon.

If it were any fresher you’d have to slap it…

I don’t want to eat anything that was oinking at me a few minutes earlier.

Remember Thorny, if it doesn’t move on your plate, it’s not fresh!!!

Do you want him to grind the coffee beans or pick the grapes too?

The farm to table food is fresh and delicious. The barn to table food takes a bit longer to prepare.

Perhaps a little too fresh for your liking.

Ever have milk right from the cow? Mmm – warm! (uh, DUH!)

“Listen! You can hear the chickens!”

Your lunch break isn’t long enough to order the pork chops Brutus…

Don’t order a hot dog.

Hopefully the pig isn’t the chef or that food ain’t coming out anytime soon… at all actually. :}

Born and raised on a farm. Killed and butchered many a hog. Nothing like fresh backbone and sweet potatoes on frosty cold late Nov day.

Visitor at a farm spies a three legged pig and asked the farmer about it.Farmer says that his granddaughter fell in the pond and the pig pulled her out and did CPR and saved her. Then the pig ran into the neighbor’s burning house and rescued the family. And last week the pig ran off a fox that was trying to get into the henhouse.“Wow!” said the visitor. “Which of those cost him his leg?”

“None of them.” replied the farmer. “A pig like that you don’t eat all at once.”

The Abattoir Cafe.

i had a pet pig for awhile, they are super smart, used a litter box like a cat, and super affectionate, loved to cuddle (in fact named her Cuddles)…haven’t eaten pork in 30 years

That would definitely count as farm to table.

too fresh

Making bacon in the back it seems. Sounds like the new cook and restaurant food direction might just be the trick for healthier eating by Brutus…..

Having a live pig in the kitchen might be a sign of freshness, but soon, this diner is going to lose its license. And the pretty waitress is going lose her job. And Brutus, for his own sake, is going to be bagging it.

I prefer my restaurants upwind from the farm.

Brutus, undismayed, thinks “This waitress has a good sense of humor, using the hog call from the Joke Shop, deserves a good tip, and a chuckle”…

That “oink” would be my cue to leave.

Don’t hear no moo so I guess there no steak.

Somewhat unnerving but not as bad as hearing a meow or arf!

I prefer my meat slaughtered off premises. That gives the DOA a chance to inspect it before it’s served.

People don’t really want to see the processes involved.

If I were Brutus, I’d say, “Sounds good to me!” (Then, after waiting for the waitress to get the joke, I’d add, “Serve up the bacon!”)