Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for July 04, 2023

“I just seem to feel spooky and paranoid these days…like some dang fool in a school bus is going to back up and flatten my mailbox!”

Obviously Ed took a “Paige” from another old-time pitcher’s rules for keeping young; “Don’t look back, something might be gaining on you.”

It’s the 4th of July! Why isn’t he firing up the grill and sending it into orbit? Do the terms of his parole or probation prevent him from getting within 100 yards of a grill?

Wise to be a little paranoid. Old age doesn’t always ‘creep up’ on you……sometimes it falls on you like a ton of bricks.

The Shaft should have ‘Space For Rent’ on the front of that ratty old corn seed hat. Just think of the promotional opportunities for companies in his dwindling demo. Pfizer, Depends and Metamucil logos would be a natural fit. Locally, Bedsore Manor or the funeral parlor could sponsor his idiocy. Think outside the box, Batty!

One extreme or other…..more worrying or (Que sera, sera)

Ed makes a valid point.

Next we’ll be seeing Freddy, Daphne, Thelma, Shaggy, and, of course Scooby-Doo, in the Mystery Machine.

It’s not paranoia if it’s true.

Just ‘cuz you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you

SO! Mr. Nixon is paranoid and spooked! Imagine that! John Dean, “Indeed! There is a cancer growing on this strip…”

The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older / Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Haha! XD