Drabble by Kevin Fagan for July 14, 2023

I tell them that every time I check in for Cardio Rehab…

I hate skinny doctors!

And then there are the dozen donuts he’d eaten earlier.

That is one skinny doctor. Lol.

Dr. Sayahh. Made me grin big.

Ralph, tell him you have a reputation to uphold. You’re saving the economy by keeping the local donut, hamburger, and every other food joint in business.

I went for a physical while I was on the job, a new office nurse did the initial testing. Told me to get on the scale and looked at my chart and the weight listed on it. “You’ve gained 45 pounds since your last visit,” she yelped. I calmly got off the scale took off my loose overshirt, removed the .40 cal semi auto and spare magazines from my waistband, pulled off the Kevlar vest and my ankle holster back up. Smiling, I said “Now weigh me.” Exact weight as last office visit.

Did anyone catch the doctor’s name?

I tell them my weight when I check in – they accept it now because they know I weigh myself every morning before and after my cardio exercise routine and my weight hasn’t changed in 4 years

Of course I just finished my bike ride, but the thought of pizza right now causes my stomach to churn…

Dr Sayaah, funny

Thank you for your service, Officer.

I expect he had his clothes on the last time he got weighed there. The play’s … I mean… pizza’s… the thing.

Not at all surprising. I know that the stuff I regularly wear adds 6-7 pounds. In addition to shoes (which the doctors ask you to remove), I have a leather belt pouch with two cell phone and an iPod, a large keyring, Swiss Army knife, wallet (including coin purse) and a stainless steel wristwatch.

Of course, a big lunch can also be a factor, but that’s (one) reason why doctors tell you not to eat before your visit.

And he was fasting for the appointment.

Why do they all look the same?

It must be like the perfect life to be a comic strip character. You rarely age (“For Better or For Worse” people did, along with their dog, Farley!), and you can diet and you won’t die or anything like that. Ralph Drabble can eat anything he wants, and he never falls over and dies with a heart attack! Meanwhile, I have Diabetes and High Blood Pressure too. It’s no fun taking those meds!! Then again, a comic strip might die when the cartoonist decides to retire or quit. Or go to that comic strip museum in Boca Raton, Florida I believe. I guess that’s the retirement home for comic strips like, “Peanuts”, “Priscilla’s Pop,” and others.

I remember back in the day at the Dr’s office, you had to undress and put on a paper gown, then get on the scale. Not any more.

Sayahh is a great name for a doctor. IRL I know a doctor named Dr Hirt

When will Ralph have his heart attack? What I mean is that my cholesterol went up to 149 and the doctor went crazy. I’m on a statin, changed my eating habits yet again and am getting way more cardio, so I can get off this prescription.