Drabble by Kevin Fagan for July 24, 2023

There was a lifeguard at the community pool in my hometown who was berated by his own mom(she owned the place) for slacking off and ignoring the swimmers.

But can he swim?

Not funny?

Not a look which will necessarily inspire confidence to others at the pool.

All hail the flag of the beach ball!

He has the mandatory white stuff on his nose, so he is a professional. FL beaches do not allow floaties btw.

The only floaties in Florida waters are Mafia victims.

Supposedly, there is a shortage of lifeguards.

I like Mike Rowe’s Safety Third “philosophy” where the second priority is having fun -which reinforces the first priority of getting the job done. The third priority of safety reinforces both of the first two priorities.

Norman should move those floaties up to his ears in order to keep his brain safe. Or what’s left of it.

He’s going to inspire confidence in every swimmer that sees him.

In case you doubted news reports about the national lifeguard shortage . . .

Umm.. a kiddie pool lifeguard? I hope?

What happened to his job at Home Depot? Life guard is only a summer job.

Those kids are going to drown.

When they hired him I guess they didn’t bother to check if he could swim.

On a serious note, lifeguards need to be trained on how to be lifeguards. You need to know how to save someone that is flailing around in panic, or they can knock you out.

Who’s going to save Norman?

Guess he lost the hardware store job….