Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for January 24, 2024

Why is Phoebe teaching about something humble when Lord Splendid Humility can help with that?

Kim Jong Un: I hate how everybody is so tense when I walk into a room as if they are afraid that I’ll chop their heads off.

Well, some coaches would tell you that you can bench press more with proper form than someone a lot more muscular with poor form. But I don’t know where you’d find someone who managed to get that pumped without learning the right form.

I always gave a spelling pretest on Monday. Anyone who aced it didn’t have to do spelling that week.

Of course, that was before I stopped teaching spelling as a separate subject and instead incorporated it into writng.

Unicorn world problems.

Your self confidence is amazing, Marigold!

Getting Marigold to externalize her bragging, in any form, is nearly impossible.

Do you really need to be good at humble bragging? You could just double down on arrogant bragging.

That was a really good idea. I’m GREEEAAAT!!!

You’d think unicorns would always ace spelling homework. They’re always casting spells.

You know what Phoebe sounds like in my head? A younger Darcy from Iron Man.

So Phoebe has all the words, then? Hmm, sounds like someone else I’ve heard of with delusions…