Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for August 20, 2024

When It’s Good To Be Left High And Dry

A few years ago I ordered a pizza. As soon as I hang the phone up, rain started pouring down intensely.

Given that on previous occasions pizza deliveries were suspended when there was bad weather, I assumed they wouldn’t send anything to my place that day so I prepared myself something to eat and spent the evening watching TV or reading or playing video games.

About two and a half hours later there was a knock on my door and I opened it to a drenched guy in a Hazmat-like poncho holding a pizza while saying:

Delivery Guy: “I’m sorry it took so long to get here. It’s raining a little bit but don’t worry, your pizza is dry. Cold, but dry. And it’s free because of the delay.”

I told him I’d pay him anyway and he refused to take my money but accepted it after asking him to take it as a tip for himself.

I think it’s been the most expensive cold pizza I’ve ever bought but he deserved it.

How To Make “Phoning It In” Really Work For You

When I started as an electronics broker over seventeen years ago, they sat me next to a lady who had been with the company forever to get a feel for what to do with my day. The company had a goal of 100 outgoing phone calls per day and two-plus hours of talk time.

After I’d spent a few days eating the phone and having huge numbers, [Lady] told me to knock it off and showed me “the right way” to do the job. On a small index card, she had written approximately forty phone numbers of people who never answered the phone — CEO, CFO, and VP direct dials. She knew that every time she called there was fifteen seconds of ringing and a ten- to twenty-second voicemail greeting, and then she would leave a silent voicemail for maybe another thirty to forty-five seconds. By the end of her list, she had an hour of talk time and forty outgoing phone calls.

She would then make ten to fifteen real calls for things that were actually work or follow-ups with customers, and then she’d do it again for the second half of the day. The rest of the time, she played solitaire on her computer or did crosswords under her notepad. She had set customers that gave her X amount of business every month and she would take care of them, and she’d BS the other 80% of her job.

In 1997, she was earning $90,000 per year doing that.

I thought it was always open.

They never closed it, especially around politicians.

DNC described

DNC this week

WIDE open in Chicago this week.

Now we know what Pandora really released.

…..and that is a BIG box!!!!!

Trumps entire campaign in one comic. Well done Aunty, well done.

“Clowns to the left of me,

Jokers to the right,

Stuck in the middle with you"

Some politician.

Bean. It was Mr. Bean… ☺

Be alert! The world needs more “lerts”.

And who ordered them in the first place.

mr. bean!

…an’ not only that, they’re breeding like bunnies!!