I’ve parked and am walking up to the entrance to a pretty bougie fashion mall. I’m walking past the valet area when some angry dude gets in my way.
Customer: “How long does someone have to wait to get some God-d*** valet service?!”
Me: “Beats me, dude, I don’t—”
Customer: Slams his keys into my hand. “It’s the Escalade! No tips since I had to wait so long!”
Me: “Dude, I—”
Customer: Already walking away. “—stop calling me ‘dude’, a**hole! It’s not professional!”
And with that he’s marched inside the mall, leaving me with the keys to a $150,000 vehicle. I look over at the overworked valet drivers and realize there’s a line for valet; this jerk just didn’t want to wait in line.
I’ve always wanted to drive an Escalade, so what the h***, I park it for him. I’m walking back to the mall intending to give the keys to the valet guys, when I see this jerk drinking coffee at one of the outside dining tables. I decide to let him know just what has transpired.
Me: “Here’s the keys to your car, dude. By the way, I’m not a valet driver, just another customer like you. You just gave a complete stranger the keys to your car and called him an a**hole. I could have done anything I wanted to your car, but I parked it for you and I’m giving you back your keys. Remember that.”
He goes pale at this knowledge, but regains his composure as I’m walking away.
Customer: “Wait, where did you park my car?!”
Me: “Anywhere I wanted! Have fun finding it!”
I parked it in the furthest spot possible from the mall; helped me get my steps in for the day!
Yakety Sax 4 months ago
This Could Have Easily Escaladed
I’ve parked and am walking up to the entrance to a pretty bougie fashion mall. I’m walking past the valet area when some angry dude gets in my way.
Customer: “How long does someone have to wait to get some God-d*** valet service?!”
Me: “Beats me, dude, I don’t—”
Customer: Slams his keys into my hand. “It’s the Escalade! No tips since I had to wait so long!”
Me: “Dude, I—”
Customer: Already walking away. “—stop calling me ‘dude’, a**hole! It’s not professional!”
And with that he’s marched inside the mall, leaving me with the keys to a $150,000 vehicle. I look over at the overworked valet drivers and realize there’s a line for valet; this jerk just didn’t want to wait in line.
I’ve always wanted to drive an Escalade, so what the h***, I park it for him. I’m walking back to the mall intending to give the keys to the valet guys, when I see this jerk drinking coffee at one of the outside dining tables. I decide to let him know just what has transpired.
Me: “Here’s the keys to your car, dude. By the way, I’m not a valet driver, just another customer like you. You just gave a complete stranger the keys to your car and called him an a**hole. I could have done anything I wanted to your car, but I parked it for you and I’m giving you back your keys. Remember that.”
He goes pale at this knowledge, but regains his composure as I’m walking away.
Customer: “Wait, where did you park my car?!”
Me: “Anywhere I wanted! Have fun finding it!”
I parked it in the furthest spot possible from the mall; helped me get my steps in for the day!
Doctor Toon 4 months ago
Dogzilla might be smarter than Toby
HarryLime 4 months ago
Perfect!!! The bigger the car, the bigger the donkey!
Just-me 4 months ago
I think Dogzilla is more amenable to training.
cuzinron47 4 months ago
He’s avoiding it.
j.painterjones 4 months ago
Yakety Sax—EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!