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Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for May 17, 2011
Transcript:
Zonker: You want me to take your Mercedes coupe? Chester, what's going on here? Man: I'm being raptured, Zonk - on Saturday! Zonker: Raptured? Man: Judgment Day! Where I'm going, I won't need a fancy ride! You can scoff if you like, but come May 21, I'll be siting in heaven. Sadly, you won't. Zonker: Pretty close. I'll be sitting in my new Mercedes. Man: And how do you think it'll handle in lava?
rayannina almost 14 years ago
What hath Harold Camping wrought?
AKHenderson Premium Member almost 14 years ago
That sure was fast. Didnât the âend of the worldâ story come out yesterday?
pouncingtiger almost 14 years ago
Keep spewing out B.S. and people will believe anything. Motto of Fix News and Republican radio.
fritzoid Premium Member almost 14 years ago
It probably depends on where you live. Thereâve been billboards and such about it here in San Francisco for several weeks.
ARF2 almost 14 years ago
If 21 May 2011 doesnât work for you, thereâs always 21 Dec 2012, the last day of the Maya Long Count calendar. (Or is that Day 0 of the next Long Count?)
cdward almost 14 years ago
Buy if for a dollar and get the registration signed pronto!
randgrithr almost 14 years ago
Zonkerâs gonna be hell on wheels. ;-7
lewisbower almost 14 years ago
Excuse my Sir, Iâm selling salvation insurance. With our policy, there is no way in Hell you wonât arrive at the reward you deserve. This offer is only good until Monday.
roctor almost 14 years ago
âY2K and now thisâ! The best possibilty is a herd thinng good time.
puddleglum1066 almost 14 years ago
No doubt at some time in the future (say, late next year) weâll learn that Harold Camping was secretly employed by Rob ShermanâŚ
Sandfan almost 14 years ago
If that Mercedes is a Unimog, lava wonât be a problem.
GalleyOar almost 14 years ago
This is at least Campingâs third try at predicting the coming of the Lord. Maybe heâll eventually get it right. Nawh! Only God knows the day and hour and sheâs not telling.
ChiehHsia almost 14 years ago
Wasnât there something in one of the Gospels about a rich man, a camel, and the eye of a needle? Nah, Iâm just hallucinating again.
ChiehHsia almost 14 years ago
Just like the part about âjudge not lest you be judged.â I should just shut up, huh?
cdhaley almost 14 years ago
Jesusâs âHeavenâ that excludes the rich man is a heaven built on envy (ressentiment). Many learn about âheavenâ in Sunday School and carry the silly notion right into adulthood. A grownup should realize thereâs something phony about a place that contains only those you like and excludes your enemies. Chester shows the infantilism typical of Jesusâs adult âlittle childrenâ: he canât enjoy âheavenâ without knowing his neighbor is in hell.
Nighthawks Premium Member almost 14 years ago
hey! this damn Pinto wonât even start.
take it back!
pirate227 almost 14 years ago
How sad that people really believe this end of times crap.
Varnes almost 14 years ago
Oh, man, the worlds ending again? Whatâs that? Rupture? Oh, I thought you said raptureâŚ.ouch, my tummy!
Hugh B. Hayve almost 14 years ago
Ok, Iâm no bible scholar but I remember reading The Book of Revelations when I was much younger. I may be wrong but didnât the Rapture come after the Four Horseman, Armageddon and the second coming of Christ. If what they say is true then we may have a busy week ahead of us.
fritzoid Premium Member almost 14 years ago
Hugh, the Rapture comes BEFORE Armageddon, which is kind of the point. The Saved wonât have to suffer the Trials and Tribulations the rest of us poor suckers must endure. When the excrement hits the HVAC, theyâll be watching from the balcony at all thoseâŚLEFT BEHIND!
iamthelorax almost 14 years ago
Well Obama screwed up again! He should have just left Osama Bin Ladin in his stupid compound and let the Rapture sort him out.
Dapperdan61 Premium Member almost 14 years ago
While I believe thereâs a day of judgement coming Iâm not banking on this Saturday since no man knows the hour of his return. I know there have been those quitting there jobs & giving away there worldly possesions. Canât say I can afford to be that gullible
AMU abarrows moderator almost 14 years ago
lol
Dtroutma almost 14 years ago
It would be nice if the radical âbelieversâ , on all ends, who donât believe it necessary to preserve the planet would leave, and leave it to us. Think how many fewer wars there also might be without âreligious fervorâ.
phuhknees almost 14 years ago
âI love the sound of a woman in the throes of rapture â but not screamers.âKevin Kline
alviebird almost 14 years ago
@ Hugh B. Hayve, and fritzoid,Although many mainstream Christians believe in a âraptureâ before tribulation, many donât. A careful reading of âThe Apocalypse of St. Johnâ (aka. Revelation) shows that the âcatching upâ doesnât happen until the seventh trump(et). This is after tribulation (the four horseman), but before any final battle. Which, by the way, isnât said to actually happen. The book seems to imply that Christ intervenes, and does the job himself.Believers in the âraptureâ cite Mat. 24:39-41 (and Luke 17). But they err in comprehending it. For context, back up two verses to 24:37. The workers âtakenâ are those busy going about their lives, and who get caught in the flood. The workers âleft behindâ are the Lordâs workers, who donât get âcaught upâ in the cares of this world and the lies of the false Christ.Enough Sunday school. Sorry. But if any of you would like to know more, write me at alviebird@gmail.com.
pauljmsn almost 14 years ago
Ha! Theyâre ALL wrong! Itâs not 2011 or 2012. Itâs gonna be 1998!
Iâm a SubGeniusâ˘. Iâve given my $30 to âBobâ. When July 5th, 1998 comes around (Trust me, the calendar year is WAY off!), the Xists will swoop down and take us yeti OFF this stinkinâ ball of rock!
Or maybe not. What I like about the Church is the triple-your-money-back guarantee.
cdhaley almost 14 years ago
@shytimesI heard that joke too, 45 years ago in a college History of Religions class. The visiting lecturer (the great Spinoza scholar Harry Wolfson) wanted to illustrate how naive it is for Christians to think they invented the idea of the resurrection of the dead (see the end of Daniel, written ca. 160 BCE).âSome Jews newly arrived in Heaven were being shown around. They noticed a group that kept to themselves and ignored everyone else. âWho are those guys,â they asked their guide. âOh, those are the Christians. They think theyâre the only ones up here.ââ
ANQuixote almost 14 years ago
But will I have time to do my Saturday Sudoku???