Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for September 14, 2024

You knew she did before you asked her to marry you

I do. Now you say it!

A man and his wife had a hard time saving money. They set up a plan that whenever there is an amorous event they will put $5 in the cookie jar. After a couple of years the husband decides to count the money. Fives, fives, fives but then a ten dollar bill and then twenty dollar bill. And another. He ask the wife, “Why are there 10s and 20s in the cooke jar?” She replies, “Not everybody is as cheap as you.”

Really stupid!

If at first… try, try again…

One more qualifying marriage and she gets an upgrade on next marriage.

You may want to know about the divorce lawyer she has on retainer.

Maybe find out how many times she’s been widowed. Did she have you get some life insurance?

Most churches offer some kind of freebie to member couples marrying in the church, such as dropping the rental fee.

She believes in the bonds of matrimany.

Frequent filer miles.

wait… lemme see that punch card again!

You should have known something was up when they were on a first name basis.

“Well, you had to pay the ‘repeat offender’ penalty.”

Loyal customer for what? Marriage?

She’s got one with her lawyer too.