Free Range by Bill Whitehead for January 25, 2025

Expecting “altered” outcomes tops that.

Especially since we’re going to Greenland in the winter.

It allows for freer movement.

Wear your RED skirt so the blood doesn’t show so much!

It could get you kilt!

Take out the “in nothing but skirts and sandals”, and you still have a valid sentence.

The enemy dies laughing.

That’s how the term ‘military draft’ started; it’s very drafty in a skirt.

Many have erred, thinking the ‘military draft’ was some sort of a beer.

I see London, I see France, peasants don’t wear underpants.

And yet how many wearing armor, leather or metal, still died in battle over the milleniums?

A shield might prove useful.

That’s why you Gird your loins*

Means to tie up your skirt up into shorts.

It’ll be a mess if one of them has an ax-ident.

Wear helmets to deflect the hot corn oil.

What if it’s a battle of wits?

OSHA may have something to say about requiring steel safety toes on the sandals and a suitable crash helmet, but otherwise…

We’ll get a crackin and invent amour to cover your A~rsses

Kinda wish someone would invent armor.

Beats stark naked painted in woad.

They’re called tunics, not skirts…