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One of our delivery drivers comes back from a delivery run. All our drivers need to be twenty-one and up because we can also deliver alcohol. He has a blank look on his face.
Delivery Guy: “I’ve officially been inside a strip club now. To deliver pizza. It’s about what I was expecting — dark and loud, and there sure were some ladies not wearing a lot of clothes.”
Me: “Performers gotta eat, too, I guess.”
Manager: Eyeing up his change “I’d exchange those ones ASAP.”
(I have been staying with my parents for a little while to finish college. One day, after several hours of getting the runaround at the college admin office, plus more lines than I’d ever wanted to see in one day, I come home and flop on the couch.)
Mom: “That kind of a day, huh?”
Me: “I’ve done all my responsible adult things for the day. I’m done! Where the h*** are my crayons and my juice box?!”
Mom: laughs “But it’s so hard to get the vodka into the juice box!”
Me: “I know, right?”
(We had a good laugh over that one, and I wound up having a beer and watching “Bill Nye the Science Guy.”)
rekam about 6 hours ago
Maybe you can once you’re retired. I said Maybe.
quonk999 about 6 hours ago
I love being retired! I can do all of the above and more.
Last Rose Of Summer Premium Member about 6 hours ago
At my age I can stay in bed all day if I want yo. But now I don’t want to.
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 6 hours ago
You can be disabled and not have any control over when or if you can sleep.
jmworacle about 5 hours ago
Alas, you have to learn all of this when you finally reach adulthood.
PraiseofFolly about 5 hours ago
Consider a poor adult cicada after it emerges from the ground — it can’t do any of that — and it can’t even suck, anymore.
Calvinist1966 about 3 hours ago
As Calvin’s Dad said to Calvin – after explaining that grown-up play is like work but without the pay – “Being a grown-up is tough!”
Yakety Sax 43 minutes ago
Welcome To Adulthood!
One of our delivery drivers comes back from a delivery run. All our drivers need to be twenty-one and up because we can also deliver alcohol. He has a blank look on his face.
Delivery Guy: “I’ve officially been inside a strip club now. To deliver pizza. It’s about what I was expecting — dark and loud, and there sure were some ladies not wearing a lot of clothes.”
Me: “Performers gotta eat, too, I guess.”
Manager: Eyeing up his change “I’d exchange those ones ASAP.”
Yakety Sax 42 minutes ago
Nothing Ruins A Childhood Classic Like Adulthood
My adult son and I are watching “Home Alone”, a Christmas tradition.
Spoiler alert! They get to the scene after the bandits have been taken away, and Kevin is putting out cookies for Santa.
Son: “That’s actually a crime scene.”
Me: “I was just noticing he had all the lights on.”
Yes, we’re officially grown-ups.
Yakety Sax 39 minutes ago
Juiced Up For Adulthood
(I have been staying with my parents for a little while to finish college. One day, after several hours of getting the runaround at the college admin office, plus more lines than I’d ever wanted to see in one day, I come home and flop on the couch.)
Mom: “That kind of a day, huh?”
Me: “I’ve done all my responsible adult things for the day. I’m done! Where the h*** are my crayons and my juice box?!”
Mom: laughs “But it’s so hard to get the vodka into the juice box!”
Me: “I know, right?”
(We had a good laugh over that one, and I wound up having a beer and watching “Bill Nye the Science Guy.”)