Last Kiss by John Lustig for March 24, 2025

Why do they call it that when very little actually sleeping is done.

I wonder if he maid out with her…

Who said anything about doing it on the bed?

As long as they don’t break the bed.

Can you blame her?

They’re maid for each other…

He’s maidly in love…

Looks like he’s got it maid…

(OK. I’ll have my coffee now)

FIRST MAKE THE CHAIR THEN THE FLOOR THEN THE BED!

Easy terms

So, I was working late one night at the Daily Planet. After sitting all day I decided to take the stairs down to stretch my legs. I smelt someone smoking pot, so I investigated and found one of the maintenance workers smoking a doobie on the fire escape. She was kind of cute and told me that smoking made her horny. I scrammed, because you never want to get involved with a high maintenance woman

He really just wants her outfit.

So he made the maid?

I am facing an ethical dilemma. On a recent business trip I met a cute chick at the hotel’s bar. Her old man was out of town so she spent the night with me. We did everything, and I do mean everything, and we did it everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. We gave no thought to anything or anyone outside of that hotel door. We truly wrecked the place. You’d think there’d been a tornado, or at least a willy-willy, in the room. At some point, we broke the bed. We didn’t realize it until the next morning when we literally rolled out of a slanted bed.

I called a cab for her and we said our goodbyes. I called the desk and told them what had happened. The manager came up to survey the damage. His only concern was the broken bed. Everything else was just routine housekeeping. I offered to pay for the damage. He commented that this was a normal part of hotel life and he said he would prepare an invoice for me. Later as I checked out I was presented with a bill for repairing the bed. It was a totally reasonable amount, $112. He told me it was just to cover a couple of hours labor. I gladly paid that amount and left the hotel with nothing but pleasant memories.

My ethical question is this:

Can I claim the 112 bucks as a business expense?

deal!

HOTEL MAID: I don’t usually accept those kinds of offers – for less that $100.

Something about Ahnold and his house keeper on 3…ONE…TWO….

THREE! GO!

There was a Seinfeld episode like this. Jerry figured out he was still paying her, but no cleaning was done.

If sex is done right, you have to burn the bedding afterwards.

I got here too late! All the best maid puns have been taken.

The saying goes if you make the bed, you gotta lie in it. As the maid, she clearly made the bed, so…

… you won’t have to make it … you’ll have to CHANGE it

“And you sleep on the wet spot.”

If agreeing to that small stipulation gets her to say, “Yes,” then go for it.

That guy has got it maid.

That was good

Gasp! Un unmade bed…..

The maid got laid, but the bed was unmade.