Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 16, 2007

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Presents: News of the Times Critic's Corner Everything Was Better When You Were Twelve A council of the nation's top critics have come to the inescapable, objective conclusion that the best period of pop culture occurred WHEN YOU WERE TWELVE YEARS OLD. COUNCIL of REAL ARTISTIC PRONOUNCEMENTS Man: That's right, pop culture was the best when YOU were twelve. YOU! Woman: Yes, YOU, the person reading this sentence right now! Man: We did an exhaustive study and definitively found that no era before or since produced art with the sublime depth, poignancy and meaning as did the time when YOU were twelve. Man: For example, movie comedies are so SILLY today. Yes, they were "silly" when you were twelve, but THEN the silliness was SUBVERSIVELY ANARCHIC! Woman: Plus, they were just FUNNIER then! Man: And pop music is just DUMB compared to the sheer fun and exhilaration of the songs from the time when the person reading this was twelve! Boy: I'm twelve now, so all I can say is that "Pirates of the Caribbean 3" is really awesomely cool. But in 30 years, when I'm an essayist, I'll write hyper-articulate justifications of its genius. VOTE FOR PEDRO Of course, I'll be totally WRONG -- unless YOU are also twelve today! Next: Political Scientists Agree: America "Lost Its Innocence" When You, the Reader of This, Grew Up.