Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for April 21, 2009

You’ll fit in well with all the rest.

Officer masterial.

Another important prerequisite is that you have to be able to be killed on only one shot. Why did they bother with the armor, anyway?

If you’re going to be a corpse, you might as well be an attractive-looking one.

Besides, they used to be competent. As Clone Troopers in STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, they could actually shoot well and needed the armor to (among other things) survive getting bitten by monsters. Obi-Wan Kenobi said of their heirs, “And these blast points: too precise for Sandpeople. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.”

Then as-yet-untrained Luke Skywalker shows up with insanely lucky Han Solo on the Death Star, and after that none of the Stormtroopers can hit the broad side of a docking bay from inside…at least until the next movie. Go figure.

Sounds like some people I used to work with.

As opposed to “the alien job unfair”.

The stromtroopers who took out the sandcrawler were seasoned field troops who had probably at least a dozen slow-moving Jawa sandcrawlers to their credit.

The ones on the Death Star were green recruits who probably didn’t even get shooting practice time because, well, who expected them to ever have to shoot anybody?

Yes, as a matter of fact I do need a life. Why do you ask?

If I may my put forth theory on the accuracy of the Storm Troopers. Once Luke and Han were present, their subconscious control of the “Force” allowed them to increase their natural abilities and at the same time decrease or affect the troopers abilities.

More to the point: have any of you ever put on one of those helmets and tried to sight through it? No wonder there were so many misses.

Ok, so whose the guy in the black body suit and helmet? Oh, and I like the cape.

I say the originals are still the best.

Having a life is overrated.

Per Star Wars Lore, the Death Star was in fact crewed by the hand picked best the Empire had to offer. Not units, mind you, but individual troopers. That meant there was NO unit cohesion (remember the thing was barely operational). It was made worse because the troops were assigned ALPHABETICALLY to diferent sectors of the station. So yes, every one of those idiots could have been named Bob in one section. And the troops were also startled that ANYBODY would ever need them in the first place. After all, attacking that battle station wouldn’t be an act of courage, it would be more like suicide :) Amazing how quickly elite troops can lose their edge. I personally thought this was much more apropriate to places like Comcast or Dell technical support…

“Perfect cannon fodder if we ever go back to cannons.”

“Can you do a Wilhelm scream?”