Frazz by Jef Mallett for July 21, 2011

Oh, man, “Oops there goes another wife!” totally works for me. That’s classic country..

This guy MIGHT save country music!

If only these weren’t written months in advanced, then Jef might be able to plan how supportive we are of the coach. He’s actually doing quite well.

Hey, for a beginner, he’s way better at rhyming than MOST people. His ear is OK — he didn’t try rhyming happy with trampy or harpy — and I’ve heard worse.What’s yer beef, Frazz?

Dear Mom, I is a professional songwriter now. Listen to WBAD.

Roses are red, violets are purple.Sugar is sweet and so’s maple surple. (Roger Miller)

First I think I’ll eat an orangeThen go out and fix the door hinge.Later, I think a gin and tonic’llTaste real good while I read the Chronicle.The comics there are worth gold and silver,One of my favorites is tha one called Dilbert

I don’t see “pear-shaped girls” ever being as popular as “apple-bottom girls”.

Frazz isn’t complaining about the quality of the rhymes, but the unfortunate insights into Coach’s brain…

Ogden Nash was a first reader at a publishing house. He got so tired of having to read such bad poetry, he decided he could to do it better/worse for comic effect.

For the younger generation, a first reader was the publisher’s employee who had to cull the really bad stuff coming in “over the transom”. Nowadays, publishers insist on an agent so the author has to pay for first reading.

pear shaped is notas you say hot

I think he meant pare shaped.

There once was a fellow named Rorschoch,his wife’s pear-shape so wide she could sun-block,when a red star would passshe emitted a gasresulting a Nebulous fore-shock

Boots at the boar: Haven’t you ever heard “Fat bottomed girls”?!

“To find a rhyme for silver, or any ‘rhymeless’ rhyme, requires only will, ver- bosity and time. So go and seek a more ang- elic shade of orange.” How about “cassowary”, “Timbuktu” and “velocity”? “If I were a cassowary On the plains near TImbuktu, I would eat a missionary Cassock, bell and Hymn-book, too.” “Having once gained the summit and managed to cross it, he rolls down the side with uncommon velocity.”

Hey, what was he going to rhyme with happy? Crappy or sappy? Ibuckley, I think you got it right. That’s why Frazz referred to the inkblot tests. He’s getting a peek into his brain…..

Bordom was snorin’ and I was in your sight. As the sky turned to orange, and silver stars took to flight…..

A star is born.