Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 10, 2010

I don’t have a good feeling about wut they were going to say…

Narrator: Rat makes ‘pearls’ a mad lib

Pastis: Listen to me rat, I am serious. We are not turning the strip into a mad lib.

Rat: fine, then how ‘bout just the punchline? We can ask the readers to fill in the blanks and give a prize for the best submission.

Pastis: NO! I have no prize to give, and I have no time to go through 100,000 E-mails.

Rat: alright, I understand. How ‘bout I just (fly) them a (moldy) (taco)?

Pastis: I’m gonna kill him.

Pig: Run Rat, Before he (bores) your (demons).

mad lib #2:

Pastis: Listen to me rat, i’m serious. We are not turning the strip into a mad lib.Rat: fine, then how about just the punchline? We can ask the readers to fill in the blanks and give a prize for the best submission.Pastis: NO! i have no prize to give, and i have no time to go through 100,000 emails.Rat: alright, i understand how bout i just (skip) them a (lumpy) (fart)?Pastis: i’m gonna kill him.Pig: run rat, before he (kicks) your (oompa loompa’s.

mad lib #3:Pastis: Listen to me rat, i’m serious. We are not turning the strip into a mad lib.Rat: fine, then how about just the punchline? We can ask the readers to fill in the blanks and give a prize for the best submission.Pastis: NO! i have no prize to give, and i have no time to go through 100,000 emails.Rat: alright, i understand how bout i just (walk) them a (stupid) (laptop)?Pastis: i’m gonna kill him.Pig: run rat, before he (sleeps) your (madlib)!

I’m just gonna skip to the Mad Lib’s part.Rat:Alright, I understand. How bout I just (embalm) them a (house-trained) (human)?Pastis:I’m gonna kill him.Pig:Run Rat, before he hydrates your duck.

jordy18, XtremePearls, Marissarulz, and Dabattlebacca — sorry you guys — they all suck and are about as funny as a crutch.

Rat:Alright, I understand. How bout I just (photosynthesize) them a (communistic) (sunflower)?Pastis:I’m gonna kill him.Pig:Run Rat, before he redecorates your chapel.

How about I just (paint) them a (shiny) (potato)?Run, Rat, before he (jump) your (earring).

How about I just (galvanize) them a (vertiginous) (apocalypse)? Run, Rat, before he (tattoos) your (bongos).

Rat makes ‘Pearls’ a ‘Mad Lib’.

Listen to me, Rat. I’m serious. We are not turning the strip into a ‘Mad Lib’.

Fine. Then how ‘bout just the punchline? We can ask readers to fill in the blanks and give a prize to the best submission.

NO! I have no prize to give and I have no time to go through 100,000 e-mails.

Alright. Fine. I understand.

How ‘bout I just REPEAT them a SQUEAMISH TEST?

I’M GONNA KILL HIM.

Run, Rat, before he EXCITES your HAIRCUT.

How about I just (give) them a (bad) (pun). I’m going to kill him! run rat before he (kicks) your (bootie)

How about I just send them a funny meme? Run, rat! Before he whoops your behind!

how bout i just give them a fat mouthrun rat before he spanks you ear

YES! ITS AN ARC! :D

give, little, clue, smashes, spine

Narrator: Rat makes ‘pearls’ a mad libPastis: Listen to me rat, I am serious. We are not turning the strip into a mad lib.Rat: fine, then how ‘bout just the punchline? We can ask the readers to fill in the blanks and give a prize for the best submission.Pastis: NO! I have no prize to give, and I have no time to go through 100,000 E-mails.Rat: alright, I understand. How ‘bout I just (give) them a (burnt) (bread slice)?Pastis: I’m gonna kill him.Pig: Run Rat, Before he (hits) your (oompa loompas).

How about I just give them a big pile o’ money? Run, before he kicks your a**