…And Ma in her kerchief,
And I in my cap-
sule had just turned on the cryo
for our seven month “nap”.
When out in the station,
There arose such a clamor,
I opened the airlock,
To see Cliff getting hammered.
Then what to my wondering
Eyes should appear
But a wandering Tribester,
with a two-four of beer.
He and Cliff downed a couple,
Then they started to croon,
And I knew from their singing,
It must be Doc Toon…
Alvis: “Now drink with me deeply of the bourbon, scotch, and rye until such time as we are fighting drunk. Then we shall find, and beat the asses of, the nonbelievers who ruined my feast.”
TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN’T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
‘TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES….
HAPPY EATING TO ALL; PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE..
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES ‘N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS, MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
margueritem about 15 years ago
Hey, where’s my cranberries?
DirksApprentice about 15 years ago
zombie snowmen eating turkey and stuffing…..it could work
ejcapulet about 15 years ago
Stuffing and corn for me!
Pacejv about 15 years ago
Gibblets, anyone?
rayannina about 15 years ago
Not in my socks, please.
Rakkav about 15 years ago
As a side note, we now know there’s one more potential source of fresh, young spleens for Dr. Mel.
zero about 15 years ago
mmmmm stocking stuffing
lint jelly -©2009 jukeofurl prod
drwatson about 15 years ago
Winky better wish for a spleen
mrsullenbeauty about 15 years ago
On the last night of the holiday, the two best children on the station get Turkeyclaus’ wishbone.
cdward about 15 years ago
I got a rock.
alan.gurka about 15 years ago
If that’s what the good kids get, what do the bad kids get?
wicky about 15 years ago
And I got a lump of coal.
Digital Frog about 15 years ago
…And Ma in her kerchief, And I in my cap- sule had just turned on the cryo for our seven month “nap”. When out in the station, There arose such a clamor, I opened the airlock, To see Cliff getting hammered. Then what to my wondering Eyes should appear But a wandering Tribester, with a two-four of beer. He and Cliff downed a couple, Then they started to croon, And I knew from their singing, It must be Doc Toon…
mancocapac about 15 years ago
I’d like some mashed potatoes
mancocapac about 15 years ago
and a tofurkey
Nairebis about 15 years ago
I think I like Hallothankmas better.
Sherlock Watson about 15 years ago
The Turkeyclaus gives away raw turkey meat. That may be taking the spirit of giving one step too far.
wndrwrthg about 15 years ago
I like to celebrate the Feast of Alvis.
Alvis: “Now drink with me deeply of the bourbon, scotch, and rye until such time as we are fighting drunk. Then we shall find, and beat the asses of, the nonbelievers who ruined my feast.”
Lawrence Stetz Premium Member about 15 years ago
So how many days does this festival run for?
Trebor39 about 15 years ago
Under the control of marketing it runs forever. Merry Foreverholidaysmasadnauseum!
gordrogb Premium Member about 15 years ago
Hey - what happened to FESTIVUS! I have a few grievances I want to air.
Rakkav about 15 years ago
THANKSGIVING (Author unknown)
TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN’T SLEEP I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP. THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION. SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES, PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES. I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND, ‘TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE. BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES…. HAPPY EATING TO ALL; PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE..
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP. MAY YOUR POTATOES ‘N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP, MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS, MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE, MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.
HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace over 5 years ago
Raw turkey meat meant he was really giving of himself.