A guy walks into a doctor’s office with a duck on his head.The doctor looks up and says “What can I do for you?”The duck says, "Can you get this guy off my butt?
A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. “Get that pig out of here!” yelled the bartender. “That’s not a pig, stupid!” she replied, “That’s a duck!” “I know!” said the bartender, “I was talking to the duck!”
The joke is, people keep voting for Republicans and Democrats, 97% of which are hopelessly incompetent. The two party system is an abject failure. America desperately needs viable candidates from outside the duopoly. The sooner the American populace realizes this, the better.
People who bother to read & comment oppose both parties about as often as those who oppose one or the other. Those who neither read nor comment, but merely vote, unfortunately seem to just want to pick a winner. This isn’t a horse race & it might help if news organizations would quit reporting as if it were. Don’t tell us where the stand in the polls, but where they stand on the issues. Don’t choose who to cover based on what they have to spend, but on what they have to say. The major candidates will say what they always say. Tell us what the actual alternatives are talking about.
The problem is that when either party says “We have to have a candidate to replace the other party’s”— they never ask if they need one who’s any more competent- and the spiral goes downhill.
A man walks into the bar with a lobster to give to the bar tender. Wow, says the bar tender. I’ll take him home for dinner. Nah, says the man. He’s had dinner. Take him to a show.
hsawlrae over 13 years ago
Now, readers, be very careful no one says anything about politicians. I dare ya. Heh, heh, heh…
MitziFlowers over 13 years ago
Yeah! Maybe we should elect actors instead~They’d at least pretend to be solving the nations problems.
BigChiefDesoto over 13 years ago
Politics is Latin for “many bloodsucking pests”!
NE1956 over 13 years ago
A guy walks into a doctor’s office with a duck on his head.The doctor looks up and says “What can I do for you?”The duck says, "Can you get this guy off my butt?
gjsjr41 over 13 years ago
I’m with Shoe on this one.
tripwire45 over 13 years ago
Amen.
Sandfan over 13 years ago
The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.
Sandfan over 13 years ago
‘I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts’. Will Rogers
Crimson Crab Premium Member over 13 years ago
A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. “Get that pig out of here!” yelled the bartender. “That’s not a pig, stupid!” she replied, “That’s a duck!” “I know!” said the bartender, “I was talking to the duck!”
glkailsik over 13 years ago
They need to be thrown out this next go around. Remove of incumbants from office, use the primary system to change the face of all canidates.
spirit2002 over 13 years ago
Remember “Brewster’s Millions”? “Vote for none of the above”. That’s the way to go. Americans win while the bureaucrats lose for a change.
runar over 13 years ago
A rabbi, a nun and a giraffe walk into a bar…the bartender looks up and says, “What the hell is this – some kind of joke?”
WaitingMan over 13 years ago
The joke is, people keep voting for Republicans and Democrats, 97% of which are hopelessly incompetent. The two party system is an abject failure. America desperately needs viable candidates from outside the duopoly. The sooner the American populace realizes this, the better.
dahawk over 13 years ago
More like 638 – 536 House, 100 Senate, 2 White House.
ChukLitl Premium Member over 13 years ago
People who bother to read & comment oppose both parties about as often as those who oppose one or the other. Those who neither read nor comment, but merely vote, unfortunately seem to just want to pick a winner. This isn’t a horse race & it might help if news organizations would quit reporting as if it were. Don’t tell us where the stand in the polls, but where they stand on the issues. Don’t choose who to cover based on what they have to spend, but on what they have to say. The major candidates will say what they always say. Tell us what the actual alternatives are talking about.
Dtroutma over 13 years ago
The problem is that when either party says “We have to have a candidate to replace the other party’s”— they never ask if they need one who’s any more competent- and the spiral goes downhill.
REDROCKER51 over 13 years ago
IF YOUR’RE NOT GONNA TELL THE JOKE, THEN TAKE ME OUT FROM UNDER YOUR ARM !!! IT STINKS IN HERE !!!!
runar over 13 years ago
Is Molly your middle name?
ImaginaryFriend over 13 years ago
A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm, he asks the bar tender, “if I order a drink, would you put it on my bill?”
A man walks into a bar with a blindfolded duck and asks, “who wanted the peeking duck?”
A man walks into a bar with two ducks and asks, “who wanted the quackers?”
A man walks into a bar with two ducks under his arms and one between his legs and announces, “So what if I am a bill collector.”
A man is being carried into a bar by 100 ducks and announces, “I am over my head in bills”
doc white over 13 years ago
Oh come on, you are full of it.
ChukLitl Premium Member over 13 years ago
546, you left out the Supremes.
Bargrove over 13 years ago
A man walks into the bar with a lobster to give to the bar tender. Wow, says the bar tender. I’ll take him home for dinner. Nah, says the man. He’s had dinner. Take him to a show.
boldyuma over 13 years ago
www.instantrimshot.com
androgenoide over 13 years ago
Don’t blame me. I voted for Kodos.
pouncingtiger over 13 years ago
It’s time NOT to elect the quacks in the House in 2012.
Siscosdad over 13 years ago
H’ray for Shoe!