Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 30, 2011
Transcript:
Goat: Hey... what happened to you? You're not overweight anymore. Rat: Yup. I lost the pounds. Now I just have to finish this big book on how I did it and I'll be rich, rich, rich. Goat: Is that what you're writing now? Rat: Yeah... it's a three hundred page masterpiece containing all my weight-loss secrets. Have a look... Book: "I ate less." Rat: I plan on using a very large font.
Sisyphos almost 13 years ago
Lessee. That’s one word of four letters or fewer per hundred pages…. That’s going to require more than “a very large font,” Rat!
chekhovskaya almost 13 years ago
Maybe it’s a flip book with dancing animated letters as you whir through the pages. Maybe they dance enough to make you sick – instant more weight loss.
idroppedmygum almost 13 years ago
That’s how I write books :)
Hugh B. Hayve almost 13 years ago
I won’t buy it, but I might check it out using Google Earth.
3hourtour Premium Member almost 13 years ago
….http://obituarytypo.blogspot.com/2011/09/1955.html…..
nancyroy2 almost 13 years ago
so funny… cuz it’s silly – and true.
dukeallen almost 13 years ago
Didn’t Jeffy do this same thing over on Family Circus?
orinoco womble almost 13 years ago
I have seen the new format books…wide margins, big pages, big print…very little actual content.
Robert Mason almost 13 years ago
And don’t forget to exercise.
hariseldon59 almost 13 years ago
Interesting that both Pig and Rat are writing books. I’d rather read Pig’s romance novel.
reese828 almost 13 years ago
A book is just the beginning! Don’t forget to add a cookware line, frozen dinners and a few pieces of exercise equipment.
corzak almost 13 years ago
hah hah . . . Pastis stole MY line!For years I’ve been telling people that I was going to start a paid weight-loss seminar. People would pay; settle into their seats. I would take the stage, step up to microphone. Clear throat.“STOP EATING SO MUCH!”, I would scream. Then “Thank you for attending.”
Alms4Thorby almost 13 years ago
In today’s “Iwant it all, and I want it now” America, people take the same attitude to weight lose as they do to social problems.
Quick fixes and easy sollutions which require no effort from them.
angelfiredragon almost 13 years ago
Eating less doesn’t help genetics, I know people who less than a 2 year old and can’t lose weight. Has to do with many genetic factors, I also know people skinny as can be that eat enourmous amounts of food and never gain a pound. Ironically the skinny people are the unhealthy ones with extremely high cholesteral, while the over weight ones have very low cholesteral.
Sherlock Watson almost 13 years ago
There was a whole arc in “Bloom County” where Opus was trying to find a weight-loss method that would allow him to remain “a lazy pig”; he finally broke down and went with Milo’s suggested plan, which was to eat less and exercise.
Number Three almost 13 years ago
A large font for 300 pages?
I would dread to know what the font size would actually be.
LOL xxx
PearlsFan88 almost 13 years ago
This strip just keeps getting better and better! Love it!
bmonk almost 13 years ago
Rat’s book may be accurate, but he’s missed the point: a good diet book will cause the reader to buy other things from the author, like menus, recipes, exercise equipment and videos . . .
Rat is actually being (sort of) helpful.
He must be feverish from hunger.
lsealey almost 13 years ago
Fell on the floor laughing. I lost 65 pounds three years ago, and everyone wants to know my secret. When I explain that I ate less and exercised, they think I am lying. I am going to make up a fake, disgusting diet soup recipe that involves excrement and pass it out for those who don’t believe that self control was involved. Thank you, Stephan Pastis.