Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 12, 2012

That bartender forgot that his customers are there to DRink, not to THink.

Time for a new bar, that’s all…

A realist says the glass is always completely full: half with beer, half with air.

and I say let me drink my beer in peace!!

Bartender, “Okay a half shot for full price”.

Yep (said the retired engineer), that glass is exactly twice as big as it needs to be..But no matter what, the Irishman (yep, I’m one of them too, not retired) will ever say, “Are you gonna drink that?”

If your glass is half full, then you’ve got too big of a glass.

Pistols at dawn?

Talking too much is a good way to get in trouble.

The problem is that the pessimist never sounds pessimistic enough. The glass isn’t just half empty. There are splinters in the beer, which is probably too warm anyway. And what about the music? Huh!

It’s either empty or full. I don’t do half measures.

Whadaya want, eggs in your beer? My dad always used to say that. I saw him do it a couple of times…gross…

it’s just a half a glass… of stupid juice. Stupid juice makes the partaker of such more stupid than they were before sitting down to partake there of. Just read/watch the news you’ll see that I do not lie.

The pilot says “Are you going to finish that?”The scientist says “Mostly empty space.”The astronaut says “Half full of atmosphere”The engineer says “The container is twice as big as it needs to be.”

“I Drink, Therefore I Am”

A serious pessimist doesn’t like beer at all, and makes claims he can’t possibly know the truth of…like, what camel pee tastes like…wait, maybe he really DOES know and can make the comparison…strange field of expertise. Knowing THAT would make anyone a pessimist, I suppose. A clear example of where ‘ignorance is bliss’…

“Someone stole my glass.” Charlie Brown

probably why the bar is otherwise empty. Shift Colors, Underway!

Beer is an acquired taste, it’s true. (So is coffee, BTW.) But once you get accustomed to it and learn to appreciate it for what it is, oh my! In its time and place, it’s the best.

I see it as Jerk Drinking

My Physics 101 professor would see 8 oz of beer in a 16 oz glass…..

It’s half full if it’s being filled and half empty if you’re drinking it.

Did I already miss out on the “watered-down” drink jokes?

On Earth the glass is always full.

If it takes three guys three days to dig three holes, how long does it take for one guy to dig one half hole?

Careful… we’re not talking beer mugs here.

The late economics Nobelist Merton Miller used to say that as a rule he had no use for government regulations but would make an exception for the Reinheitsgebot, which declared that beer (bier, actually…aka liquid bread) was the product of malted barley, water, yeast, and hops, and nothing but. He then went on to tell of someone who sent a sample of American “beer” to a lab and asked them to identify it, only to be told, “Your horse has diabetes”.

@prrdh“Hopfen und MalzGott erhalt’s!”

I drink therefore I am… an @$$hole!

Is this a philosopher who thinks he’s a psychologist or a psychologist who thinks he’s a philosopher?

The optimist says “The glass is half full.”The pessimist says “The glass is half empty.”The republican says “Now I’ll take the other half.”

technically, the glass is always full. 50% water, 50% air.