The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for July 15, 2012

“If our turn signals flash in unison we’re soulmates.”

“Don’t Hit Me! My Lawyer’s in Jail!”

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

Blinkers only works intermittently;listen for horn andwatch for hand signals

Ask me about Amway!

“Look at me, and you die”

I brake for hallucinations

Drive defensively, buy a tank.

oh ho…careful there…

“If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?”

Too bad the first one isn’t true.

“At the age where the wrong things stiffen up”

Scariest i ever saw: Caution, I Drive Just Like You Do!

WWJD, but I quickly perverted that to “What Would Jesus Drive?” And the answer is:Either an extremely ecologically friendly vehicle, or a 12 passenger van…..

One I’d like to see on a Mortician’s car. You kill um, I bury um!

Vote Romney/Nugent in 2012.

Don’t read this text! You’re driving!

“If I can see your nostrils flare, you’re too close”

“Tailgaters do it, once too often.”

My favorite, from a few years ago: Welcome to New Hampshire. Now go home. I assume other states had that, or similar. I have to wonder if Mars has one at the ready.

This truck’s been in 8 accidents and ain’t lost one!

“November 6, 2012 the end of an error.”

Keep Portland Weird

“Bumper Stickers are for Morons”

If you think your life is hard, try walking on water.

You think this bumper sticker looks good, you should see what I have in my trunk

Keep Austin Batty – a plug for the Congress Avenue bridge where Mexican free-tailed bats spend the summer. Beats insecticide all hollow. U-turn and head for the bridge at twilight.

My son sells drugs to your honor student.