Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for April 13, 2018

Um… who eats trail mix with a spoon?

(annoying repetitive line snipped)

Tony asked, about 4 hours ago

Do you eat much mulch?

No; I do prefer fresh greens.

Mulch is okay, if you add bacon bits, avocado, grated cheese, lots of herbs, a nice vinaigrette, and leave off the mulch.

That’s what an old friend of mine called my home made granola bars. Mulch bars.

She was more the Lucky Charms and Count Chocula type.

Funny thing is, she was a body-builder….

and I’m….um… not.

Haven’t seen her in about 20 years….

I don’t make my own granola any more, but I do buy it.

I wonder whether she still eats junk.

Mulch??? Naw!!!

Why yes, I do.

I think it’s called “Spring Mix”.

Euell Gibbons would be proud.

What do you think?

One of the great-grandsons eats mulch. He has also stuffed small stones and a stink bug into his mouth. His motto seems to be, “Try it; you might like it.”

Not potpourri kind.

But it had such a pleasant bouquet.

No. I just leave it on my lawn.

Gross out alert:

I was talking to my wife one day about the odor of her passing gas. She said: You don’t expect my farts to smell like roses do you? I told her, I don’t know. I never smelled Rose’s farts. I slept on the couch that night, and I actually didn’t mind.