Dick Tracy by Mike Curtis and Charles Ettinger for October 24, 2010

What? Where did Mrs. D’buckworth suddenly spring from? And how come she’s not disguised as a homeless person?

Convenient that another totally illogical surprise shooting will bring yet another story arc to a swift conclusion. I’d say “premature conclusion,” except that we were all much younger when this story arc began.

Sunday puzzle page: See if you can count how many things are wrong with this picture, starting with the guy with blue skin.

Mrs. D’ suffers from the dreaded tiny hand syndrome.

Quick, Dorothy, throw a bucket of water on her!

Oh, didn’t Locher mention the tornado that brought Dorothy and Toto into this arc? Or is this Norbert the Narc, wearing the Mrs. D’Buckworth mask he bought for Halloween? If she pulls the trigger, will Sue Doko jump in the way of the bullet?

Wonder Warthog, none of my teachers ever taught me the kind of math in which “first” means what it means here. Or are all the Feds going to testify that they couldn’t identify either of the D’umbasses? They just happened to be standing around the same fire barrel with him one night when Thick showed up?

And how did that member of the Simon Penn Society get into the next-to-last frame, sneaking in that utterly unwarranted thumb’s-up?

Okay, gang, supper’s on! We’re having hash, because that’s what the Locher Mess Monster has made of my guesses.

Yesterday’s guess du jour was that this whole arc is a Mary Sue, with D-cubed as a thickly-veiled version of Dick Locher. If there’s anything to that guess, it will develop that Penny was pulling the strings, manipulating her kind-hearted husband, siphoning off the money he collected for charity and hiring a hit man to kill him. Now she wants to kill him in front of witnesses so he won’t be able to expose her and prove his innocence. And it’s Thick’s fault she has taken this desperate measure, because his intense questioning umpteen weeks ago made her expose herself as a very bad person. She’s been following Thick all along, knowing that he would lead her to D’cubed.

Or not.

I suppose Locher is laughing with the thought that “Silly people, didn’t you know that in a real Dick Tracy story, the villain is always physically unappealing? I heard that from Chester Gould and I’d thought I’d try it for a change!”

Wow. Guess she wasnt in on it after all. Shes so furious that hes such a dastardly villian shes decided to go after him with her gun and her tiny hand.

Wheres Sue Doku? Surely Locher forgot to throw her in for a last minute cameo that makes absolutely no sense.

PANEL-PANNER’S CRIMESTOPPER

Many individuals are not who they claim to be.

“I”m Dick Locher, the much praised writer-artist of the Dick Tracy comic strip.”

Check references. Better yet, check comments.

The second-to-the-last panel: Is that Mr. D’B with his back to Thick, holding his arm behind his back? Why the “thumb’s up?” Why is Mr. D’B forcing his arm into that position? Has he placed himself under arrest and is now restraining himself? Or has an invisible government agent have the hold on him?

“You found him first, Detective Tracy.”

Yup and he he worked so hard at it, pushing his skills of detection to the max.

Well, Locher has one thing right. Ten agents working the street and only bumbling Thick could find the guy. Big government bureaucracy is the acme of inefficiency.

Now that a gun has appeared, how long will it take Thick to duck and cower?

Panel-Panner, it probably is D-cubed in that panel. Wasn’t it good of him to stop running and return to the alley so the CIA agent could pronounce the arrest?

Or is it really Sue Doko in a disguise even more clever than the one Penny is wearing?

So what’s her motive?

1: She was Lady MacBeth to her has-been husband’s Thane of Cawdor, forcing his career along and using him as a puppet. Now she has to kill him to conceal her role in the global economy’s meltdown, the survival of al-Qaeda, the Judge Crater case and the rise of Justin Beiber.

2: After she phoned Mr.-Rowland-at-my-bank she discovered that D-cubed had left her bankrupt. Enraged, she decided weeks earlier to kill him, sending Butterfly McCorpse to do the job. After his failure she decided to do it herself. Everybody needs a hobby.

3: She likes being a widow, especially with all that cool inheritance stuff, and it’s very awkward to have D-cubed spoil her widowhood. The situation is easily corrected, and since her husband is legally dead, Thick knows he can’t arrest her for his murder.

4: Forsaken by her husband, she became easy prey to Thick’s charms during his long visits to the Gingerbread House. Smitten, besotted and enamored she has followed Thick ever since, accompanied only by her faithful .25 pistol and cleverly disguised by her pearls and earrings. But what does she see? Thick is smitten with D-cubed! The shock of discovering Thick’s bisexuality and the realization that she was a romantic fool are too much. She opens fire! The Feds shoot back! As Thick runs away he dashes straight into the arms of D-cubed! “Let me take you away from all this!” D-cubed says.

Or is this a clever assassination plot? The Feds “ignored” Penny’s presence because they know she wants to kill D’cubed, and a domestic murder is easier to explain than an unmotivated political assassination. Of course Thick should have noticed her skuh;r kwuyb;k wiyr–

Oops! Reality will not tolerate the use of “Thick” and “notice” in the same sentence. But perhaps this is why the Feds have suddenly gone from sneering at Thick to giving him credit for finding D-cubed. Hey, it’ll be his fault when the old boy gets whacked!

But of course Thick will help D-cubed escape. Otherwise this arc would be much closer to its end. And if the arc is a Mary Sue, Thick will have to listen in approval and belief as D-cubed gives his version of events, while Thick forgets that he wanted to arrest D-cubed for, uh, something.

So in what ghastly manner will Locher kill off Mrs. 3-D? You know it’s coming. Maybe she’ll end up in a pot of mulligan stew.

When did Tracy start wearing yellow nail polish???

@BillThompson:

”D’umbasses”: Word of the day!

Why is it that in the Dick Tracy universe, people always shoot other people when there are lots of witnesses around? “Well I shot him because I wanted to get revenge for blah, blah, blah,” or “I shot him because he stole my fortune,” or “I shot him to prevent him from taking control of my company,” or whatever. None of these motives make a darned bit of sense if you’re doing the shooting in front of lots of witnesses, because then you’re going to spend the rest of your life in jail. Whatever you were hoping to prevent or avoid by killing the person seems pretty moot when weighed against spending the rest of your life behind bars. Especially when it could have been avoided if you’d simply chose a time to pull the trigger when there weren’t a bunch of people watching.

Sorry, I’m at my wit’s end.

Bill says: “didn’t you know that in a real Dick Tracy story, the villain is always physically unappealing?”

Very True! Unfortunately, the way Locher draws, everyone is physically unappealing.

Also, I hope she shoots D-cubed right in his stupid tattoo!

btmosley, I can only imagine two ways in which the old bat will get it.

1: A dinosaur-killing asteroid scores a bull’s-eye on Nappingville. That would be fine, seeing as the last one missed Penny. But Locher won’t do that because it would deny Thick the chance to spend a week or so making bad puns.

2: Sue Doko shows up to save D-cubed, which requires her to shoot Penny. Regrettably she saves Thick in the process, and even worse gives D-cubed the chance to explain to Thick how he was framed by his wife, his ex-associates, the New World Order, the Illuminati and his therapist.

But these are the make-sense explanations. Locher will have something else up his tattered sleeve.

You folks heard of the anti gay bullying program “It Gets Better”? Doesn’t apply here. It just gets worse and worse. Missing billionaire id’ed as dead hiding on the streets attracting attention by handing out near non existent thousand dollar bills (it gets worse) who somehow rats out his crooked partners and is being followed by Interpol, the FBI, the NAACP, U.N.C.L.E., the Baker Street Irregulars, and the LSMFT, all of whom stop Thick Spacey from arresting him (it gets worse) thus giving him a chance to escape, which he some how does not do, (it gets worse) and then, out of no where, here comes his wife with a gun to shoot him in front of as many law enforcement personnel as possible. Whew. That’s a long sentence. Which is what DL deserves for destroying this great strip.

Um, no, Locher. Tracy didn’t find him first. He found him last, after the whole mob of undercover accountants and bureaucrats found him.

But you forgot penciling that scene already….

-Cougar :{)

D-cubed ran back to his mansion, where Mrs. D-cubed is ready to made cube steak out of him.

And Locher did draw one acceptable human - Sue Doko.

Every once in a while, homespun lore proves itself to be gospel. Will Rogers and his one-liners are good examples. Today’s example is “On occasions, a blind hog finds an acorn.” This applies to Macy and D-cubed. Someone needs to tell our pole-dancing hottie federal agent that.

In the last panel in Saterday’s strip some one has their left hand on a gun in their jacket pocket. Who is that? Today’s strip shows Mrs. D with a gun in her right hand and she is wearing a dress all while the “ace” detective is calling her. When is Locher retireing? Soon I hope.

Good eye, WW318. I actually was typing an identical post when you beat me to it! Yesterday, Penny had a scarf, also. Today, it must have warmed up. Macy is so out to lunch, he hasn’t a clue as to who is standing around him. Actually, he hasn’t had a clue in years about anything.

Many individuals are not who they claim to be. After all, why would Peter Fonda be collecting for the Humane Society?

Gweedo’s Morgue - Thanks for the acid flashback, man!

(I still like Patti Smith’s version better, though.)

If the guy with his thumb up is 3D didn’t he run away after he was tackled by Dick?

My first thought when I saw the blue-skinned guys was, I tan better than that. Now I realize that Locher is doing a Star Trek crossover. The blue guys are Andorrians. Teeth-gritting guy is a Klingon. Norton is a Vulcan, with a pullover cap to hide her ears. Thick has disguised himself as a tribble. The business world D-cubed left in chaos was Ferengar. The Salt Vampire in the final panel wants to time-warp D-cubed back to the twenty-third century, by which time Locher may have wrapped up this arc.

And it explains their clueless behavior. They aren’t Federal, they’re Federation and they have no idea how to comport themselves in our era. Thick must feel right at home with them.

Didn’t I say from the start to just arrest the wife and move on to the next arc? Though that will probably be worse, so never mind.

the worst art work of the year!!!

BUT - What’s the CRIME ?

Badges - many flashing … Norton (CIA) - arresting … Thick - wrist geenee calling … Penny D - suddenly there detesting … BillT - for ALL great ‘speculating’ … D’Buckworth’s soon confessing While Locher - it’s ‘day to day’ - forgetting …

— Exactly what’s the CRIME ?

Tess - wisely, for DL - ’contributing’ …

http://www.gocomics.com/dicktracy/2007/01/22/

http://www.gocomics.com/dicktracy/2007/01/21/

yeah i thought 3D had made his escape while macspacy and the feds were talking things over and the $1k bills were flying. now he’s under arrest? after a worldwide chase? what’s the charge? this gets more absurd by the moment.

Little johnny is in a snit He says were all full of it He doesn’t like what we do say Then why does he come here to play Oh johnny, you poor misbegotten lad Don’t read the comments if they make you sad Or better yet, post a positive thought for ol’ DT He could really use one, wouldn’t you agree? Surely around our dark cloud you can find a silver lining Wouldn’t that be better than all your pining? “Don’t be schtupid, be a smarty”. Come and join the nasty party.

I posted this yesterday late in response to John Russco’s comment, please pardon my repost.

To the tune (sort of) When I was a Lad The HMS Petifore

When Bill T. was a lad he strived to learn Under teachers that were both strict and stern They pushed him to think and use his mind And to use his powers to serve all mankind He developed a wit so sharp and quick Now he’s writing comments about a comic strip Now Bills comments are a joy to read They’re not just some hackneyed screed He tries to make some sense of this mess Some don’t appreciate genius I must guess They need stop complaining and get a grip About his writing comments about a comic strip Out of nowhere they feel the need to opine They complain how he makes use of his time But the majority of us here all agree What he writes we can’t wait to see So let’s all try be a brick and not a prick About his writing comments about a comic strip.

What’s fascinating is not just the use of really lame plot devices, but the REPEATED use of them. The “hand with a gun” popping up happens here, happened in the theatre story, happened at the circus. The “everyone is not who they say they are” is happening here, happened in the theatre, happened at the circus. The “now that we’ve meandered pointlessly for months let’s have some character pop up and explain what was really happening the whole time”…

well you get the idea. I just wish I could figure out why people are getting paid to do this. So many good cartoonists could do so many good things with this iconic comic strip.

Mrs. D’ makes a lousy Magenta.

I’ll just be standing over in the corner all by myself now…

Thank you again, Wonder Warthog, for the honor.

I can see why the troll chose a balloon for his avatar. He’s generated enough hot air to get it aloft.

Sydney Phillips, if my guess du jour is correct, then D-cubed never committed any crime. What we are seeing is a Mary Sue story, in which Locher injects a thinly-disguised version of himself into Dick Tracy’s world for his personal gratification.

First, I think this clip illustrates what is going in in Locher’s mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cE1fzfOogo

Now look at how this arc has presented D-cubed. The world is against him! When she sees Thick, Penny laughs at his death and says everyone hated him. His ex-associates all hate him. The Federal Government is hounding him. Quite possibly Butterfly McCorpse was a hit man sent to kill him. Even Dick Tracy is hounding him! He’s accused of blackmail, “lifting” secret technology, fraud, bullying and for all I know double-parking.

Yet when we see him, he’s giving huge amounts of money to Good Samaritans, and contributing money to a deserving senator. Only Sue Doko remains loyal to him (she was upset when told he was dead, and never said an unkind word about him). Interesting how the character with the highest babe factor admires him. I think Locher is lashing out at anyone who disagrees with him, and suggesting that any disagreement with him is brutal persecution.

If I’m right (and it has to happen sometime), then Sue Doko will appear soon, after Thick helps D-cubed escape Certain Doom from Pistol Packin’ Penny. Sue and D-cubed will persuade Thick that D-cubed is a saint. Thick will help them escape persecution. They’ll go to some place where D-cubed will at last be free to indulge his artistic sensibilities and bask in the admiration of people who admire his writing and drawing skills. I’m guessing that will be the Simon Penn Home For The Terminally Myopic.

I thought 3D was an innovator of 3D technology and his associates were stealing it from him and opening their own businesses using the technology. Now, it appears that 3D was really the thief.

I think it’s going to start raining again.

Maybe Pistol Packin’ Penny was lurking outside the alley, or wherever Thick & Company are at the moment. Maybe she found the scene by tailing Thick, or hiring someone to tail him. She might have just now stepped into view.

But why telegraph her intention to kill D-cubed? Is she planning some sort of emotional-abuse defense? If she really wants him dead it would make more sense for her to seem anxious to see him again, then plug him.

Maybe it just isn’t supposed to make sense.

BillThompson:

So you have an evil twin?

WW:

Good ones. How did you get prick by the GoComics Net Nanny?

Soooo, was the $$ he handed out part of his bailout?

Panel-Panner, no, but it looks like I have an incompetent twin. He did catch much of my essential pomposity, but his grammar and spelling fall short. As for his vocabulary, I suppose he’s limited by the Net Nanny, which probably won’t pass a third of the words he knows.

Nice non-Euclidian geometry in the Crimestoppers panel… The woman is opening the door with her right hand, but somehow her head is in front of it…