Dick Tracy by Mike Curtis and Charles Ettinger for October 30, 2010

Oh sure, that makes sense.

Sheesh. You have billions of dollars. You can’t just get a divorce and hand her a juicy settlement?

Wait. What crime are we investigating here?

Wow! Reference to the current occasion of Halloween. Now if we could just get this boring story over with by then to let us honor Thanksgiving.

“Nice Halloween costume, little boy! Have some bullets!”

On Day 97 of Realism Held Hostage, Locher shows that his ignorance of our Earthly ways extends to interpersonal relationships. Anywhere else, the ultrawealthy con artist would have told his wife that he planned to hide out among the homeless, after which he would have grabbed his mistress and lit out for Tahiti. Only Locher would have hubby escape the harridan by doing exactly what he told her he would do.

So what’s up tomorrow? Does Penny shoot him, after which D-cubed staggers across town, finds the cemetery and drops dead atop his own grave? Or does she decide not to shoot him after all, because she’s decided it’s better to tell him she and Mr.Rowland-from-my-bank have looted his wealth and he’s now broke?

I would certainly give thanks if the suffering would end.

She finally opened her eyes.

Marg, VistaBill………thanks for the greetings yesterday I still read each night, but I don’t post as much. Hope you’re doing well Bill. I know Marg is, she’s my e-mail buddy :-))

We’re always glad to see you, Leaky.

Please, just shoot him already, and end our misery…

The story appears to be devolving as DL makes it up. D-Cubed somehow had a scheme to make money by disappearing, having his wife bribe a funeral director for a John Doe body, bribe a tattoo artist to put D-Cubed’s tattoo on it, believing neither of these folks would talk, and then dumping the body where it might be found and incorrectly identified as he. Then declared dead, he started giving away thousand dollar bills while pretending to be a street person. Yeah, that would make him rich. Huh? And panel 3 is another artistic triumph. Penny appears to be aiming the gun at her hubby next to her face and hoping to deafen herself in the right ear if she shoots him.

She can’t shoot him until he spews some bile about his ex-partners and the Federal government.

And he can’t divorce her. Locher would never violate the Family Values principles by showing divorce in a positive light. The D’umbasses can lie to one another, plot felonies, scam one another and murder one another, but divorce? That’s too hideous to contemplate!

And you just know Sue Doko’s got to show up so this can drag out for another week.

leakysqueaky712 said, “Marg, VistaBill………thanks for the greetings yesterday. I still read each night, but I don’t post as much. Hope you’re doing well Bill. I know Marg is, she’s my e-mail buddy :-))”

Yep! I’m ok leaky. Pleased to hear from you.

Why hasn’t someone disarmed Mrs. 3D? And now 3D tells the real reason for his behavior!

I’m really expecting big things to happen here after Halloween , but it will take till Jan 2nd to conclude.

Maybe Butterfly McCorpse will walk in and tell us what really happened. Why should he get out of this just because he’s dead?

Yesterday Thick said that D-cubed’s act had fooled the cops. Ergo Thick didn’t know D-cubed was alive and thus had no reason to go looking for him. So why has Thick been wandering around for the past month? What did it mean when he was stunned and motivated by that “Revenge From The Grave” headline?

Did Thick decide that going undercover was a great way to get away from Tess? Can’t blame him, considering that something always goes horribly wrong whenever he goes home.

Has anyone kept a list of the issues Locher needs to resolve? Or is that an impossible task?

Panel 3: Speaking of Halloween…

Mrs. D’B – she has no arm, just a hand attached directly to her shoulder by a wrist. And as for her face… the horror… the horror…

And since Locher is known for getting all the details just right, what kind of gun is she holding? It’s looks like a squirt gun on loan from Simon Penn.

It’s a novelty cigarette lighter. The old bat has decided that talking hubby to death isn’t slow enough, so she’ll give him lung cancer.

Y’know? I think sure I remember that D’Cubed ran away a few weeks ago. What’s he doing, still standing there? And why can’t those fed agents take down this old gal with the gun? And why is D’Cubed wanted by the cops anyway? Has anybody asked these questions before? How many times?

Soooo confused…she helped fake his death, but HE did this to get rid of her…feeling woozy…HE bilked companies and governments out of billions, but faked his death to get other companies indicted….can’t…keep…it…straight…homeless Federal Agents and local police not cooperating…wait, I can believe that one…but not the way it was done here…feel…like…I’m…*THUD*

obviously a republican tax dodge .

The Halloween theme started with the ghosts of federal agents that appear and disappear.

Welcome to “The Theater of the Absurd” starring Richard Tracy.

Where is Fearless Fosdick when we need him? Anybody remember him? He could have sorted this out in a week.

There’s no way Locher can explain his way out of this mess. Every answer he thinks he offers gives rise to 20 questions. Man, talk about an expert at painting himself into a corner!

Of course, Simon Penn/Mattie/Jeffie all need to change (interchange) their Depends, due to the rush of excitement .

Newenglandah - “Rock Bottom” is like our Tex-Mex term, Manana. It never comes. This strip will hit rock bottom when Elvis returns to do a concert with MJ. No, that’s too probable. It’ll hit rock bottom when I start to like my mother-in-law.

Tomorrow is Halloween. Satan will show up and say “Locher! You sold your soul to get this job, despite your lack of talent! Your contract expires tonight! But all is not lost! You can continue your work in Hell and torment the damned until home freezes over!”

Fun fact! Rock Bottom was voiced by Jack Mercer, who also did the voices of The Master Cylinder and The Professor!

Aren’t you glad you asked?

this strip has been at rock bottom for ages under lame locher’s guidance. it just burrows deeper with every panel.

shoot! shoot! shoot!

Well, clearly she’s about to shoot him with a homeless ray from that gun.

I can’t decide if I’m confused or just mixed up with the story…at least I’m not the only one…I hope Fusnr is wrong about Jan. 2, though. (How can this drag on that long?? I better not ask…)

And we still have to learn why Sue Doko is guilty of … something. How she’s responsible for this megillah … somehow. Given the way Locher writes, with one bizarre revelation after another, that’s almost inevitable. She’s the only major player who hasn’t been blamed for something.

D’Buckworth was reported missing. That is a legitimate police matter. A body was found and identified as him, only by the wife, but case could have been closed. Since cause of death was never determined, it could be considered a suspicious death and the investigation continued. Withdrawing such a large sum of money is suspicious and I think it has to be reported to officials. There is much to criticize in this strip regarding plot, continuity, art work, etc. But there is no lack of crimes.

Shoot Penny, Shoot!!!!! Kill everyone so there won’t be anymore Dick Tracy stories!!!!!

marvee, we readers know that something criminal went on, but only because we saw things that Thick never saw. As a character in the story, he’s supposed to find the clues and connect the dots.

Up to this point Locher has not shown us anything that is undeniably criminal; there have been innocent alternative explanations for everything. We don’t even know why Thick decided to go trick-or-treating all those weeks ago. (Looking for the man who gave out the K-notes, yes–but why not talk to everyone who admitted receiving one, build up a police sketch from their descriptions, and search the area for the man? And what is illegal about giving away your own money, if Thick suspected D-cubed was doing it?)

“So it’s homeless you want? Let me introduce you to my boyfriend! D’oodoo, Thick! Thick, D’oodoo! That’s right, D’oodoo, while you were skulking in alleys and tempting little boys with money, Thick and I were whooping it up in my nice comfy mansion, which I inherited along with your fortune after you were declared dead and your will was probated! But I saw how Thick’s eyes lit up when he recognized you! I saw him play grab-and-goose with you! It’s you he wanted all along, the fickle little minx! He’s all yours, loverboy, stubble, stench and STDs!”

Uh, by the way, D’oodoo, did anyone ever tell you … uh, never mind, go ahead and charm your wife … you’re doing so well … you have a marvelous way with small talk …

Speaking of masquerade, I think someone has been masquerading as a cartoonist/storyteller for far too long…