FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for April 11, 2023

okay… o_O

yesterday

Before the Internet, other time zones were far off in the distance.

They were in a multiverse far far away!

This was the brief period of time before the internet became the primary hub of popular culture

This is far-fetched because Doonesbury has never been funny.

Microsoft changes its name to “Megahard”. And remember its slogan, “Where do you want to go today?”? Well, now it’s being changed to, “Where the heck do you think you’re going?”.

I just watched “Attack of the Clones” for the first time, yesterday!

All this futurism, and all I got is FoxTrot Classics!

I remember going online and reading the plot of the coming week’s Star Trek The Next Generation episode. It was downloaded on satellite on Sunday, and the syndicates picked the night they aired it.

The soundtrack was the best part about “Attack of the Clones!” That, and the sound of those sonic charges Jango Fett dropped.

One doesn’t need time travel to figure out who wins reality shows. I picked the winner of American Idol the first 5 years without having seen a single episode. They make their favorite obvious.

I see this strip ran on April 11, 2002. That means Boston Rob Mariano was voted off Survivor, ending the first of his five attempts at winning the game. Even though he only went 1-for-5, he understood the game like no other and was widely, though not universally, considered its best player till Tony Vlachos emerged as the champion of the all-winners Season 40 (Rob’s fifth and final appearance, when it became abundantly clear his strategies were too well known and his reputation far too towering even among a tournament-of-champions cast for anyone to fall into his traps again).

The Fox children are a bunch of pirates

“People assume that time is a strict progression from cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.” The Doctor.