Frazz by Jef Mallett for July 15, 2020

Free diving, SCUBA and hard hat diving are each for different environments and for different purposes. None of them are for picking up after a Great Dane.

I’d go for option four.

1 Off the Mark

2 Luann

3 Another Week of Summer Chatter to What End?

One of these things is not like the others. Hard hat diving (a) is always WORK, not fun, and (b) pays a LOT.

I say Snorkeling.

The guy in the fish tank would be wearing a Mk. V dive helmet and suit. They’re a lot of fun to dive in, but you need at least one helper to get it on and off.

I think there’s a deeper message here. Being aware of just how bad it can be for the least fortunate among us makes us aware of just how easy our lives really are. I mean, really, have you looked at how people live in the slums of third world countries, in the refugee camps filled with people fleeing endless war and genocide? Those are the picking-up-Great Dane-poop “choices.”

You want test questions with no-brainer options? Try these:

 Quick Quiz

Q1: Which of these things does not belong?

   A) herpes

   B) AIDS

   C) syphilis

   D) timeshares

Q2: Which of these things does not belong?

   A) a lobster

   B) a trout

   C) a crab

   D) a Vietnamese who’s been run over by a steamroller

Q3: Which of these things does not belong?

   A) Adolf Eichmann

   B) Osama bin Laden

   C) George W. Bush

   D) Barack Obama

Q4: Which of these things does not belong?

   A) Question 1

   B) Question 2

   C) Question 3

   D) Question 4

 KEY TO ANSWERS

Q1: C. You can get rid of syphilis.

Q2: B. All the rest are crushed asians.

Q3: A. While all are responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocent victims, only Eichmann was following orders.

Q4: C. All the rest are jokes.

Would you rather:

1.) Total lockdown forever.

2.) Let ’er rip!

3.) Formulate and execute a plan using science and accurate, reliable data.

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Note: Alternative 3 is too complex for Trump Disciples to process, so they should stick with one of the other two.

Shades of Huck Finn? It would be more fun!

Would you rather walk to school, or carry your lunch?

I would totally LOVE to try out a 19th century diving rig!

“Nothing is real; everything is permitted”

A) True

B) False

C) Meaningless

D) All of the above

E) None of the above

F) All of the above